The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

It's the regulatory street sign everyone can enjoy! Fans of law and order love its no-nonsense authoritarian message, free of silhouettes and other namby-pamby kowtowing to illiterate and non-English-speaking drivers, and free-thinking activists enjoy pasting phrases like "EATING MEAT" or "NOT FREEING MUMIA" at the bottom. A

Slippery When Wet
I find this sign oddly soothing. Perhaps it's because the driver looks so placid and generic, in spite of the fact that his or her car is moving around like a Nerf ball in a jacuzzi. It's as if the sign is saying to me "Slippery when wet or icy, but you're going to be just fine, Tiger." B+

Scenic Route
An interesting idea in principle, but it doesn't work too well in practice. For instance, near where I live there's a lovely stretch of highway that goes right along the West Coast. You can see crashing breakers, frolicking pelicans, lovely beaches, and other things that the gods put on earth to prop up the postcard industry. And at some point along this highway there's a marker that says "Begin Scenic Route." Suddenly you're in the land of government approved beauty. I refuse to take advice on California scenery from anyone who chooses to live in Sacramento. D

Deer Xing
Pretty good. Straightforward, dynamic icon, only one problem: the antlers are on backwards. They really are. You'd think that the government would provide its icon designers with reference material, but apparently that's a little too much to ask. I suppose we should just be grateful the Ped symbols don't have three arms. D+

Gas Food Lodging
Of the Highway Trinity I like lodging the best. The circa 1957 design of the pump for "gas" is nice, and the fork and knife is refreshingly ironic, considering that most highway-side dining establishments would be better represented by a french fry box and a Mulan toy, but lodging wins because the icon looks like it should stand for "Warning: Giant Cocktail Onion and Twinkie Rest Area." A

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