The Brunching Shuttlecocks  *  

Lore Sjöberg is the editor of the Brunching Shuttlecocks and the author of "The Book of Ratings." His hobbies include doubt, ennui, angst, regret, uncertainty, resignation, and puppetry. He lives in Oakland, California.

Lore Sjöberg's Homepage

Articles by Lore Sjöberg

By Date | By Title


The Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator

Reader Mail (24 March 2003)

Fortunetelling Methods, Part 1

Wart Remedies

Good or Bad, Part 24

Reader Mail (10 March 2003)

More Than Meets The Eye

Danger Symbols, Part 2

Reader Mail (10 February 2003)

The Arts and Crafts Bookshelf

Hit Man

Danger Symbols, Part 1

Reader Mail (3 February 2003)

Ed's World, Part 16


State Quarters, Part 4

Reader Mail (13 January 2003)


New Year's Eve Traditions

Stages of Coping With a Terminal Illness

Don't Make the Smug Guy's Head Explode

Street Fighter II Characters (Part II)

Street Fighter II Characters (Part I)

Wedding Vows to Avoid


The Adventures of Evil Overmom

Gaydar the Magnificent

Marvel Supervillains (Part II)

Reader Mail (26 August 2002)

Reader Mail (19 August 2002)

Roshambo Run

Marvel Supervillains (Part I)

Ninja Massage Therapist

Reader Mail (12 August 2002)

Months (Part II)


Lore: See Clearly

The Method

Reader Mail (5 August 2002)

Months (Part I)

Lore: I Need

Just Something I've Had in My Head For a While Now

Accounting for Taste

Lore: Have Fun

Real Cooking

Movie Ratings For A Better America

Brat Wrapz

Gearod's LJ

Being There, Doing That: Pizza and Pipes

Martha Stewart's Talking

More Unreal Tournament Weapons

The Shutupicrat

Could You Be More Pathetic?

Unreal Tournament Weapons

Are You Horny?

The Brunching Shuttlecocks Guide to Choosing a Password


Lore: The Courage

The Weblog FAQK

Diagrams for You

Spider-Man's Powers

Good or Bad, Part 23

The Five Most Profitable Companies in the Star Wars Galaxy

Refrigerator Magnets

Lore: Tribute Film

The Atomic Patrol

Aspects of the Future Circa 1953

The Back Page

Lore: Never Heard

The Apocalypse Drinking Game

Mood Swing

Slang Words That Mean "Good"


Keyboard Symbols

The Twelve Least Surprising AP Headlines

Soda Flavors

Sundae Toppings

The Oral Sex Donation System

Power Tools

Canadian Snack Foods/Canadiens Casse-Croûte

The Geek Hierarchy

The Geek Hierarchy


Free Promotional Postcards I Got in LA

Facial Hair

Dear Lindy

Good or Bad, Part 22

Videogame Console FAQK

Untitled Part 9

State Quarters, Part 3

Urbane Legends

How To Tell An Indian Elephant From An African Elephant

Dinosaurs Part II

Lore: A Stick

Lore: With Power

The Institute for Contemporary Cosmetic Enhancement

Things From the Dollar Store Part IV

Lore: Country Club

Things From the Dollar Store Part III

Lore: Buzzing Sensation

The Net's First "Enterprise" Slash Fiction

Things From the Dollar Store Part II

Are You Smarter Than Miss America?

Things From the Dollar Store

An Open Letter to Dorks and Losers

Psychic Powers

Untitled Part 8

More Stuff From The Airline Catalog

More Stuff From The Airline Catalog

Kevin Smith and His Magic Feather

Maryland Institute College of Art: The Great Turning

Wonders of the World

Kitchen Floor

Lore: In Movies


Dante's Inferno Punishments, Part V

The Star Wars Title Generator

Am I President Or Not?

Jesus, It's 2001 and We're Doing Smurf Jokes?

Dante's Inferno Punishments, Part IV

Your Roommate Plays The Indigo Girls

Ed's World, Part 15

The Web's Hottest Sites To Be

Good or Bad, Part 21

Dante's Inferno Punishments, Part III

Dante's Inferno Punishments, Part II

Dante's Inferno Punishments, Part I

For Dummies Books

Seventies Crafts


Lore: Clothing Company

Good or Bad, Part 20

Lore: I Think

Phone Features

The Web's Hottest Sites

Black and White

Apes and Monkeys

Tom Hanks: Where is He Now?


Music Media

Mary Kate and Ashley: Why They Do the Things They Do

Twelve AP Headlines

Tomy Pocket Games

Good or Bad, Part 19

Smartass Answers to the Loving Nature Quiz

Breakfast Menu

I Don't Want To Be Elfstar Any More. I Want To Be More Breakfast Cereals.

Lore: More Things

Bar Appetizers



The Alternate Universe Channel

Ed's World, Part 14

In Which We Attempt To Advance the State of the Art of Spamming

The Drug Slang Translator

In Which We Start Picking On The New President Already

Ways To Leave Your Lover

Good or Bad, Part 18

Names for Felis Concolor


Things You Make Out of Snow

Baby Toys


The Everquest FAQK

Egg Dishes

Any Other Name

State Quarters, Part 2


Am I President or Not?

Are You On Fire?

One Vote

State License Plates, Part Two

The Campaign Scandal Generator

Lore: eBay Auction

More Labors of Hercules


Lore: Number 37

Labors of Hercules

Aspects of Camping

The Brunching Shuttlecocks Financial Bookshelf

Title Match

Ed's World, Part 13

Beyond the Lollipop Guild

Fisher-Price Little People

After the Punchline

School Supplies

Good or Bad, Part 17

The Lightbulb Exemption List

The A-Team

State License Plates

Aspects of the Movie Theater

Rules For My Apartment Complex

Four Road Signs Presented as Graffiti from a Post-Apocalyptic Nightmare World

A is for Agent


Movies That Will Piss Off The CAPAlert Guy

Wacky But True Laws

The Legion of Doom

The Hazzard County Driver's Test

Monopoly Sets


Lore: Vision Quest

Apathy Automotive


The Highest Court

Input Devices

Top Level Domain Names

Microsoft: The Verdict


French Food You Suck On

Stuff in the Airline Catalog

Good or Bad, Part 16


The Sarcasterizer

The Sarcasterizer

The Warning of Prince Charles

The Björk Song

The Björk Song

Israeli Snack Foods

Emotional Responses

Rudolph: The Lost Scene

Party Favors

An Open Letter From Metallica

Whiskey Chug

Bipartisan Compromises

Ed's World Part 12

Aesop's Fables

Aspects of Easter

Rain Gear

Insect Parts

Fuzzy Logic Functions: An Overview

Untitled Seven

Magic Tricks

Good or Bad? (Part Fifteen)

Why There's No Microsoft Settlement

Swedish Candy


The Future of Marketing

Lore 2000

The Neighborhood of Make-Believe

The Long Form

Things in Space

Call Somebody Who Gives A Damn!

Lore: Kuala Lumpur

How To Be A Grown-Up Fantasy Geek


Cold and Flu Remedies

Acronym Interaction, Expansion and Extrapolation Engine


Who Wants To Marry A Bachelor?

Things You Sit On

Ed's World Part 11

Why PSAs Are Dumb

Czech and Romanian Snack Foods

Good or Bad? (Part Fourteen)

Dating Voltaire


Electoral Collage

In Which Poems By Dylan Thomas and Robert Frost Are Made Into Crowd-Pleasing Hollywood Blockbusters

Jelly Belly Flavors

Are You Dead?

The Lady or the -- Hey, Those Aren't Tigers!

Battle Beyond the Stores

Star Wars Lego Figures


Good Luck Charms

The Random Bar Joke Generator

The Nose Wax Chronicles

Ice Cream Novelties


Good or Bad? (Part Twelve)

Old People In 2050

New Quarters

More Korean Snacks

Findings of ___

The Brunching Shuttlecocks Sexual Awakening Library

Lore: No Idea




Good or Bad? (Part Twelve)

Miracles of Christ

Real Name or Stage Name?

Untitled Six

Ed's World Part 10

Street Names

Smartass Answers to the Alien Abduction Survey

Amusement Park Foods

More Satanic Symbols

Wedding Traditions

Trick or Whatever

I Ought To Be a Law

VCR Remote Buttons

Good or Bad? (Part Eleven)

Lore: Let's See

Playground Equipment

Hog Meat Tact Call

Vampire: The Masquerade FAQK

Lore: All Music

Korean Snack Foods

Untitled Five

Household Hints

Paleolithic Web Pages

Extinct Animals

Ad Code

No-Ugly Labs

Missed Connections

Gödel, Escher, Breakfast Cereal

Is Your Child On Drugs?

Internet Humor

Godzilla Enemies

Ed's World Part 9

Good or Bad? (Part Ten)


Lore: Take Two

Folk Songs

The Guy Who Knows Karate

Australian Snack Foods

The Y2K Survival Catalog


Coffeeshop Drinks

More Inanimate Object Candy

Good or Bad? (Part Nine)

Extremely Remedial Courses

Inanimate Object Candy

Lore: French Fries

Dairy Products

More Crap We Got In the Mail

The Brunching Shuttlecocks Guide to Exotic Produce

A Brief History of Time Travel

Is That Porn or Erotica?

The Alternate Spider-Man

Vicious Vegan

The Rest of the Plagues of Egypt

Plagues of Egypt

More of the World According to AltaVista

More Hostess Products

Click Here to Spend Money (Part One)

Ed's World Part 8

Japanese Snack Foods

Good or Bad? (Part Eight)

Honest Eros

The Jedi Training Generator

Titles for Star Wars Episode II

Phantom Menace Speed Ratings

More Darths

How Loud is My Radio?

How to Argue on Usenet

Real, True-Life Road Signs We Made Up

Schoolhouse Rock Part III

Good or Bad? (Part Seven)

Urban Legends

Cute Baby Animals: Exposed

Street Signs

The World's Least Valid Internet Poll

Monkeys, Numbers, and You


Kids' Songs

Chinese Food


Still More Classic Video Games

Internet Samoleon Providers

Farm Animals

Lore: Hidden Camera

The Wrestling Move Generator

Greek Gods

Memento Morty

So Speaks Randon

How Bad Is Batman

More Dungeons and Dragons Character Classes

Diner Food

Are You There, God? It's More Breakfast Cereal

6 Questions So Sexy You'll Have Him Begging For More

Surefire Cures for the Hiccups

Aspects of Jabberwocky

Perfume or Marvel Super Villain?

The Computer Game Library


Choose Your Own Damn Sex Act

Calumny House Music Club

The Billionaire Says...

Car Accessories

Lore: Simultaneous Impression


Schoolhouse Rock Part II

Smilin' Willy Gates

Cheat Codes for Application Programs

Is That Ham?

Dungeons and Dragons Character Classes

Roshambo Rampage

Red Letter Day

Lawn Ornaments

Best of 1998


Chess Pieces

Good or Bad? (Part Six)

Animal X

More Christmas Songs

The Goth Quote Generator -- Enhanced Edition

Aspects of Sushi Restaurants

The Near Future

The Truth About Poinsettias


Thanksgiving Foods

20,000 Leagues

Bilingual Curious

Charles Atlas Shrugged

Car Options

Clothe the Swimsuit Model

Untitled Four

Yet More Breakfast Cereal

Radio Repetitive

Paul is Dead Clues

Ed's World Part 7

Is This Relationship Over or What?


Untitled Three

Cat Toys

The Extreme Sports Generator

Ed and Trudy's Discount Haunted Trailer Mansion

More Charges Against Microsoft

Schoolhouse Rock

Lore: Thank You

Your Guide to the New Twenty-Dollar Bill

Hanna Barbera Cartoons

The Truth About Abraham Lincoln

Deodorant Scents

Putting the 'Intern' in 'Internet'

Boy Scout Merit Badges

___ Jury Testimony

Aspects of Televised Football

Norse Code


Fire, Work With Me

Sequel II


Crap We Got In the Mail

Good or Bad? (Part Five)

The Law Rating System

Norse Gods

The Tie Code

Amazon on Display

The Craftsman Revolution

Supermarket Vending Machine Items

Choose Your Own Damn Adventure

Lore: Any Kind

Ninja Weapons

Wrong Answer

Beliefs of the Primitive Mall-Walkers

Doughnuts and Doughnut-like Foods

Less Popular Cereal Mascots

A Reply to FAIR

Characters From Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Their First Time


References From Last Week's Ratings

Lore: I Hate

More Classic Video Games



Pool Toys

Good or Bad? (Part Four)

More Pizza Toppings

The Spiritual Growth Bookshelf

Misheard Lyrics

Coca-Cola Slogans

The Associate Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Star Pets

Marvel Superheroes

Harp on Godzilla

Other Problems

The Goth Quote Generator

Banner Ad Nauseam (Part II)

More Cookies

Red, Red Whatever

Lore: Not Necessarily

Dog Tricks

Speed Racer Characters

Cold Standard


Office Supplies

Porn Star or My Little Pony?


He-Man Characters

How's The Weather Down There?

Lore: Unholy Union


Bullish on Babylon Results

Atari 2600 Games

Good or Bad? (Part Three)

Test Marketing


Schoolyard Games

Automated Philosophy

The Obligatory Academy Awards Bit

'Alice's Adventures' Characters

Star Chart

Lore: The Only

Swiss Army Knife Items

Smartass Answers to the 80's Quiz

Lore: A Friend

Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors

One Man's Breakfast

Lore: Dear Lore

Still More Breakfast Cereal

The Inbedded Text Generator

The Inbedded Text Generator

It's Spelled Orgasm

More Superfriends

The Pompatus of Love Personality Test

A Brief Guide to British English

Lore: In Charge

The Empowering Oracle

Untitled Two

Mythical Creatures


Lore: About Drinking

Ed's World Part 6

Aspects of the Laundromat

___ of the Union

Banner Ad Nauseam

Board Games

Man Meals

Hey to the Chief

A Picture of Amy Grant Making the Devil Sign

Are You God?

Bad Sales, Part One

The Price of Money

Popeye and Entourage

The Luke Side of the Force

McDonald's Food


Card Games

Ed's World Part 5

Christmas Songs

Bullish on Babylon

Bullish on Babylon

Bullish on Babylon

Fun With a Purpose

Batman Villains

Christian Metal Band or Star Trek Episode?

Untitled One

Total Recall

Three's Company Characters

Cancel Jams

Shopping Trip

Types of Band-Aids

Unsuspected Super Powers

Kool-Aid Flavors

Scooby-Doo Characters

Pathfinder: The Movie

Ed's World Part 4


Do You Yahoo, You Yahoo?

Good or Bad? (James Bond Edition)

Good or Bad? (Part Two)

Good or Bad?

The Phantom Menace Revealed

Fashion for a Higher Cause

Hot Things

Chat Room Bingo

The Political Agenda of a Man With a Foot up His Ass

Halloween Treats

Tina the Troubled Teenager

The Marzipan Bunnies

Alien Invaders


True Love Hangs Out

Clue Suspects

The Reunion

Superman's Powers


Beanie Baby or G.I. Joe?

Winnie-the-Pooh Characters


Ed's World

More Breakfast Cereal


The World According to AltaVista

Kid Vehicles

Normal Kombat

Scary Theatre

Crayola Colors

The CIA Health Plan

A Pun

Classic Video Games


Best of Hell

Pet Rodents


New Year's Revolution

Star Trek Alien Makeup

Fruitility of Existence

Spy Planes From Outer Space

Kitchen Appliances That Only Do One Thing

Homes For Sale

Monopoly Tokens

Satin Elegance Motor Oil for Her

Why Pippi Longstocking is a Great Book

Ed's World

Pizza Toppings

The Anarchy Organization

Elvis Movie or Cocktail?



Hostess Products

Stress and You

Deadly Sins

Are You a One-Hit Wonder?

Star Trek: File This

The 100-Question Parody Test

Rock Stars with One Name


One, Twice, Three Times an Orgasm

Sesame Street Characters

Ed's World

Uses for Potatoes

The Adventures of Billy and God


Breakfast Cereals

The Future of the Internet

The Ten-Question Purity Test


Children's Books for a Digital Age

Sequels II: Not Actually Sequels

Aspects of Bowling

The Self-Help Bookshelf

Star Wars Villains

Candy Bar Math

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