I can only conclude that the fine people at Herman Goelitz Inc.
continue to sell buttered popcorn Jelly Bellys solely for my
personal benefit, because everyone I know hates them. Hell with you all!
They're great! They taste just like buttered popcorn! In
artificial legume form! What's wrong with that? I just don't
get you people sometimes. A+
Aside from the fact that these 'bellys only add to the confusion
caused by too many shades of yellow, aside from the fact that pineapple
isn't the most compelling flavor to emerge from the world's confectioners,
I have a real problem with the "crushed" part of the name. I know the
value of a well-placed adjective as much as anybody, but really, who
cares? Are we supposed to be vastly grateful that we're not expected
to endure the flavor of pineapple in rings? Lame. C-
I'm sorry, this is just misguided. I like jalapeños. I like
the idea of an eensy jalapeño I can pop in my mouth. But jalapeño
Jelly Bellys aren't even spicy. There's some vague intimation of hotness,
but all in all they make Taco Bell Mild Salsa look like habanero extract
by comparison. D
The outside is green, the inside is red. Clever!
These days the effect is ruined somewhat by the little "Jelly Belly"
they stamp on the darned things, but you can just turn that side away
from you when you play "Gojira Visits The Melon Patch." If only you
could infuse them with vodka like real watermelons we'd be set. A
Just once I'd love to see a product flavored with "Somewhat Cherry."
It could be part of a whole line of half-hearted food items. "Ambivalent
Soda" maybe. "Try Listless Lemon, Sour Apathy, and this one flavor that
tastes kind of like grape or something. They're Indifferently Delicious!"
But no, this is Very Cherry, the more socially acceptable cousin of
Wild Cherry. It's pretty good, but too similar in color to cinnamon. So there you go.B-