The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings


More Unreal Tournament Weapons

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Impact Hammer
Luckily we've moved past the archaic, pixellated days when first-person shooter characters who ran out of guns had no choice but to pound demons into infernal putty with their bare fists. In the enlightened-yet-darkened world of Unreal Tournament, all combatants carry with them, at all times, a device designed for cracking skulls like fortune cookies. The industrial design and sound effects keep this from being as pure and simple as one might hope, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless. C+

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Enforcer
It's pretty much your standard gun. It's nice that you can pick up two and re-enact your favorite Chow Yun Fat movie, but it loses points because the description on the official Unreal Tournament page says that you can fire them in "gangsta" mode. Oh, please. D

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Minigun
This is my favorite weapon after the Flak Cannon, and for similar reasons. It's easy to use, reasonably effective, and unloads enough virtual metal that I'm likely to at least wing somebody before I'm a victim of high-speed exploratory surgery. And it goes ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat! B+

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Sniper Rifle
This is loads of fun if it works. You get the little crosshairs, the screen goes close-up, and suddenly the world is a small-town traveling carnival and your enemies are poorly-painted tin ducks. Particularly nice is when you can sight a respawn point and pile up fresh warrior corpses like Spin Doctors singles in a discount music bin. It's a cheap tactic, I know, which is what I like about it. When it's not happening to me. B

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Pulse Gun
Dull. Not a bad weapon, but it just shoots a big green line. It looks a little too much like one of those really early science fiction films where the "laser beam" is just some marks someone scratched into the film with a paper clip. I'm yawning just writing about it. Let's move on, shall we? D+

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Redeemer
This, this is fun. When you fire the Redeemer, you seem to become the weapon. The view switches to first-person mode and you control your flight, winding through halls and around corners like the unseen slasher in a slasher flick, until you come upon one or more enemies and then you blow up. And then you're back to yourself again. It's actually pretty easy to shoot down, so most accomplished players consider it only slightly higher on the threat scale than someone yelling "U SUK!!!!!!", but it's great fun while it lasts. A

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