The Brunching Shuttlecocks Brunching Guides

[ Alanis Poster ]

Attack of the Alanis Morissette Harmonica Solo

Unsuspecting youths dabbling in the occult manage to summon one of the most destructive forces in the universe: Alanis Morissette's harmonica solo from "Head Over Feet." As the harmonica solo rages through the city, destroying property and jarring teeth loose, the authorities are helpless until a plucky scientist manages to harness an equally terrible power: the lyrics from Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me." The two musical travesties battle to a surprise ending.

[ Ennui Poster ]

Stephen King's Ennui

A selfish movie-goer pimp-slaps a gypsy usher and finds himself the victim of a terrible curse: he must watch every Stephen King movie from 1990 onward. At first he laughs and sits back to enjoy Misery, but after Graveyard Shift and Sleepwalkers he realizes the true horror set upon him. By the time he gets to Children of the Corn III he's on the verge of dying -- of boredom.

[ Bordello Poster ]

Bordello of Breasts

A geeky counselor, dying of acne at a campground for hookers, vows revenge for no apparent reason. He swears that he will return to kill anyone who has sex in a secluded place, showers and/or takes her shirt off while on camera. Needless to say, the body count gets up there.

[ LeVar Poster ]

The Vampire LeVar

LeVar Burton, in a desperate attempt to raise his career from the graveyard of Reading Rainbow and Trek movies, sells his eternal soul for a starring role in a popular film. He is transformed into an entertainment vampire, sucking the lifeblood from film to feed his ego, kind of like Madonna in Evita. Justice is served when he realizes that because of his spooky vampire eyes, he still has to wear contacts in every movie he makes.

[ Disaster Poster ]

Tornado, Earthquake, Volcanic Eruption, Alien Invasion and Flood

The ultimate disaster movie, Tornado, Earthquake, Volcanic Eruption, Alien Invasion and Flood destroys Los Angeles five different ways at once, killing millions of people but not a cute German shepherd, a beautiful female scientist, and a good-looking rogue government agent. This film has played so well to advance audiences that filming is already underway for Tornado, Earthquake, Volcanic Eruption, Alien Invasion, Flood, Landslide, Tidal Wave, Nuclear Meltdown and Big Hailstones.

[ Chocolate Poster ]

Death By Chocolate

A delicious dessert becomes a nightmare as a seemingly innocent chocolate cake causes guests to feel "overly full" and "kind of bloated." Tension mounts as they realize that only loosening their belts or taking a nap can restore them to comfort.

More by Lore Sjöberg Back to The Shuttlecocks Homepage