Rain Gear
by Lore Sjöberg

Galoshes
Footwear that keeps water out also keeps it in. That's a simple fact. So if you're really careful, galoshes can keep your socks dry. If you're not really careful, though, they quickly become Lipton Cup O' Foot Soup. I am rarely really careful, so I don't bother with galoshes. My socks may be wet, but at least there's flow-through. C

Ponchos
It's the simple things that make life so grand. Things like sticking your head through a hole. Ponchos are nice that way. They're also nice because they're generally big enough to protect any backpacks, purses, pages, PDAs, leathermen, or South American clinging primates you might be carrying on you. And if you're as tall as I am they can be used as a Slip 'N' Slide in the summer months. B+

Umbrellas
These are so nice and playful and fun and enjoyable that I'm willing to overlook the fact that they don't work worth driveway gravel. Unless you come from the Magical Land of Entirely Vertical Precipitation, your entire lower body is going to get soaked by any stroll longer than from the car to the coffee shop. But more effective rain protection rarely comes in the shape of a happy frog head, so it's a trade-off. B

Rain Hats
I don't see enough of these. Why aren't people wearing rain hats? About the only people I ever see in rain hats are kids in Kodak commercials and Christopher Robin. Maybe I need to live someplace rainier. Or someplace where people are more casual about putting yellow rubber things on their heads. Either way. C+

Rain Suit
The really good rain suits are the transparent ones, because you can put them on and pretend to be ribbed for her pleasure. Alternatively, if you're wearing a nice suit you can pretend that you sent your whole body to the dry cleaners and just got it back. Both of which are more fun than admitting you're just a wet dork in a plastic sheath. D+