The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

The Doggie
Ah, yes. The Gleaming Terrier of Finance. As a kid, the selling point of the dog was that you could tilt him and pretend to make him piddle on your opponents' hotels. Not exactly evolved comedy, but once you've chuckled over the "Beauty Contest" card you have to take your laughs where you can get them in Monopoly. C

The Shoe
Okay, fine, shoe equals walk equals travel around the board. But what I want to know is, what the hell is that on the back of the shoe? I mean, in practical terms it's a handle, but the car doesn't have a random protrusion coming out of the back, why does the shoe? Is it a shoehorn? Was there a penchant for wearing strap-enhanced footwear during the Great Depression? Weird. Eerie. C-

The Car
Now this is the piece to have. The movement metaphor is there, as is the reference to riches. The sound effects were de rigeur, of course, with the car screeching through the visiting area of the jail like a Duke boy. Nice set of wheels, too. I wonder if there's someplace you can buy a replica Monopoly car. That'd turn heads at the classic auto show. A

The Hat
Yawn. "Hey, I'm a hat. Here I am. A hat. Felt, you know. Bask in my haberdashery." I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't paying attention in freshman drama class, but I just can't get into the the role of a hat that invests in real estate. It sounds like a bad remake of an old live-action Disney movie. D

The Guy on a Horse
What game is this token really from? What is it doing in Monopoly? It's fun and all, if a tad unstable and prone to getting stepped on and bent, but how does "ride 'em cowboy" fit in with "fork over the rent, you peon"? Maybe it's a reference to polo or something, but it sure looks like the Hopalong Cassidy school of equestrianism to me. B

The One Everyone Forgets
What was it? I keep thinking "candlestick," but that's Clue. Martini glass? Wad of bills? Bishop? I'm pretty sure I've seen a silver battleship, but either that's just that expanded edition they were hawking a while ago, or I'm getting mental boardgame cross-pollination again. Well, it can't have been all that great, so I'll give it the generic stamp of mild disapproval. C-

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