The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

Marvel Supervillains (Part II)

The Enchantress

First, off, I'm annoyed that Marvel had to invent a Norse goddess to be an adversary to Thor. It's not like the Norse pantheon didn't have goddesses of its own. How about Lofn? She'd rock! Anyhow, the Enchantress is one of the genre of supervillainess that keeps threatening to get the heroes laid. The fact that this tends to be a sign of evil rather than good says something about the perpetually intra-pubsecent mindset of most superhero comics, but nothing that hasn't been said before. D

Doctor Octopus

There need to be more titles for supervillains. There are a bunch of doctors, a few professors, some lords, and your assorted military ranks. How about Chairman Pain? Or Senator Death? Or perhaps Right Honourable Chief Justice Torment-Hassle? At any rate. By all rights, Doctor Octopus should be much dorkier than he is. To begin with, you're not that scary if the Japanese eat you raw. Also, he has a haircut that's more stupid than roughly 80% of the Little Rascals. Also, his power is "more arms." Sure, they're metal pinchy arms, but when you get down to it, three regular guys have as many arms as he does. Still, somehow Otto manages to pull it off. More or less. C+


The origin of Kraven, one of Spider-Man's baddies, is that Stan Lee must have read "The Most Dangerous Game" and decided to rip it off adapt it for the comics medium. So Kraven, too, is a hunter who has decided to hunt the most deadly game of all: irradiated teenager! I don't know where he got the idea that Spidey is the apex of life-forms. I mean, Thor's running around, isn't he? Wouldn't the gods themselves be an eensy bit more of a challenge than some kid who sticks to things? But you know what's great about Kraven? That lion vest thing of his. His vest looks like a lion's face. I love that. C-

The Absorbing Man

This guy could have been much better. I love the idea of a villain who's really, really absorbing. The Avengers stop him in the middle of a bank robbery or something, and he starts telling them about the band he's going to start, or something that happened over spring break, and the heroes just get really caught up in what he's saying. And before they know it, a couple hours have gone by! And they're late for something! But no, he just has the power to turn into whatever substance he touches. Feh. D+

The Blob

Some superfolk have powers that can be summed up in a single word. Fire. Ice. Light. Breasts. With The Blob, that word is "fat." The Blob is the possessor of several hundred pounds of extra-durable mutant power fat. The sort of fat that can deflect bullets, ensnare fists, and do other things that no other fat can do. Except Olestra. He also has the related yet oddly orthogonal power to increase his own gravity. In our world these are merely things to do at parties and ways to make friends with Jim Rose, but in the Marvel Universe they add up to a long and lucrative career in the crime sector. B-

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