Cherry, one of the many sub-species of "Red," is the very quintessence of
Kool-Aid. It has the Kool-Aid nature. Liking Kool-Aid but not liking red
Kool-Aid would be like liking the Beatles but not liking "Yesterday,"
or being into Jesus but not approving of the whole beard-and-robe thing.
It's the color of brake lights, it tastes like no fruit on this planet,
and it makes you want to hop around. A+
I dig on this. No big psychocultural reason, it just tasted good.
I say "tasted" because The Powers That Market sent it to flavor
Valhalla. You can actually replicate the taste by mixing Grape
with Lemonade, but it strikes me as losing the point to get into Kool-Aid
alchemy, unless of course you're mixing it with gin and/or vodka. B+
A discontinued flavor, thank God. The idea here was that the
powder changed colors upon dampening. And change colors it did, from
light bluish-green to dark bluish-green. It was the most pathetic
marketing scheme since "flavor curls." It was a travesty of all things
magical. Plus it tasted like watery, sugary Odwalla Superfood. D-
Normally in double-blind tests I inevitably prefer artificial flavors
to the actual fruit upon which they're patterned, but I have to
make an exception for lemonade. Well-made lemonade is tart and
crisp; artificial lemonade is blah and blah. I mean, I'll take
Lemonade Kool-Aid over Country Time just because of that
commercial with the eerie old guy, but when I've got a real jones for
lemonade I hit Hot Dog on a Stick. C
Only available in Mexico. No, really. I've never tried this.
I can't imagine it would be all that tasty, but I have to admit to
a certain twisted fascination. What would it be like to drink Cola
Kool-Aid? To mix tan power into a pitcher of brown Kool-Aid,
to taste that blend of flat cola flavor and the ineffable Kool-Aid
je ne sais whatever? And consider this: Coca-Cola originally contained cocaine,
and Kool-Aid was originally named "Fruit Smack." Coincidence? I think not.
Unless my memory for soft drinks is failing me, this flavor was profoundly
wrong. This was back when Kool-Aid R&D had basically given up
on trying to maintain parallels between Kool-Aid flavors and colors and
those of actual fruit. Sharkleberry Fin was pink. Not just pink, but
dishwashing-liquid-pink. Pearly Pepto-Bismol pink. It looked like
Kewpie doll bile. And it tasted, well, let's just say it
was about as tasty as one could expect a "sharkleberry" to be.