The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

The Jabberwock
Given that so many words in the poem are "portmanteaus," which is to say made up of two smaller words, we can only assume that the Jabberwock was intended to be a combination of "jock" and "abbey," in other words a sort of athletic nun. That would explain the "claws that catch." Presumably it also has legs that run for touchdowns and a blood-stained wimple. B+

Vorpal Blades
Dungeons and Dragons had a vorpal blade available, among other ludicrous magic items such as portable holes. A friend once pointed out that, one assumes, the main feature distinguishing Vorpal Blades from other magic swords is that they go "snicker-snack." Product placement aside, that's got to get annoying after a while. C

Jabberwocks and Jub-Jub birds, frankly, don't sound that tough. Bandersnatches, however, seem pretty menacing, especially if you're a bander. And the one in the poem is frumious, which is a combination of "furious" and "rum," meaning an angry drunk. Let the kid from the story take on an angry, boozed-up Bandersnatch! Then we'll see who's galumphing! A

Carroll fans like to point out that this started out as a nonsense word, but now it's in the dictionary, even those cheap little dictionaries you get when you subscribe to newsmagazines. The thing of it is, though, that the meaning seems to have changed. In Jabberwocky, the father of the protagonist chortles in joy at seeing his son return. By the modern definition, that would go something like this: "Ah, my child has returned to me after I thought he was messily killed! A-hyuk, a-hyuk!" Doesn't quite work. C-

Tumtum Trees
I like the idea of Tumtum Trees. I'd like to raise Tumtum Trees, along with the world-choking Baobabs from from The Little Prince. Although to be honest, I imagine the two looking exactly the same. I'd raise them from mere Tumtum Saplings, occasionally going for walks among them, musing uffishly under their expansive branches. And then I'd chop them down for lumber, because who wouldn't want a genuine Tumtum dresser or nightstand? B-

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