Moola: What To Do With Your Money if You're Already Fantastically Rich

Once you've made your millions, you need to know how to handle them. This book covers all your options, from filling your pool with dollar bills and diving in to rubbing fistfuls of gold coins over your body like moisturizing soap. Is it better to light ten cigars with hundred-dollar bills or one with a thousand-dollar bill? We answer these questions and more.

The Coming Financial Apocalypse, Fourteenth Edition

America's most prolific financial doomsayer publishes the highly-anticipated fourteenth edition of his long-running guide to the upcoming complete meltdown of the world's financial markets any day now. This edition contains all of the information published in the first thirteen editions, plus a new essay on how the author was slightly off before and why ruin is definitely now just around the corner.

Running a Sweatshop From Your Home

Maybe you've always dreamed of owning your own sweatshop, but thought it was beyond your means. It's not! This book shows you how you can start a sweatshop in your very own home in just a few hours a week. Convert that guest room into an unsanitary, unsafe industrial production center, hire just a couple subsistence-level workers and you're on your way! Soon you'll be oppressing more underlings than you thought possible!

The Professional Guide to Résumé Lies

Experts agree that the way to create a professional-quality résumé is to lie like a sniveling weasel. Many helpful hints teach you how to cover up rehab and jail terms with "community college courses," give yourself cherry positions in "failed startups" and get friends to serve as "professional references."

Secrets of The Ladies' Tea and Protection Society

In October of 1994, The Ladies' Tea Society of Urbana, Ill. decided to add a little spice to their gatherings by dabbling in protection schemes. With only a small investment in bribes to local law enforcement agencies and another in rags and gasoline, the Ladies were able to intimidate local shop owners into paying out hundreds of thousands of dollars! And now they show you how you can too.

Recycle Your Way to Riches

Many people don't realize how much money they can save each year by following the three Rs: "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle." Have leftover gold bars lying around the house? Don't throw them out! They can be traded for cash at local financial institutions. That renaissance-era oil painting may be an eyesore to you, but an art gallery will be happy to take it off your hands in exchange for cold, hard currency. Houseguests, once you're finished with them, can be converted into hostages for another source of income. The sky's the limit!