The Arts and Crafts Bookshelf
Tired of the same old bologna sandwiches? Spice up your lunch with the
ancient Japanese art of meat folding! Cotto salami frogs and ham cranes make
mealtime fun for beginners, and experts will find complete instructions
for a turkey breast grasshopper and a corned beef box that can actually
hold olives or jewelry! An excellent gift for anyone with no sense of
The Mommy and Daddy Are Busy Book
The perfect book for harried adults who are too racked with
guilt to park their kids in front of the TV with a copy of
Super Mario Sunshine, this book is full of fun crafts your child
can do when you're arguing, trying to rebuild your shattered post-partum
sex life, or just lying down with a pounding migrane and a bottle of
prescription ibuprofen. All activities are guaranteed to be safe,
easy to clean up, require no adult supervision. Plus, they're relatively
unlikely to cause your child, later in life, to spontaneously break
down in tears when a glimpse of a bottle of white glue brings up deeply-buried
feelings of abandonment and isolation.
Balloon Animals and Self-Defense
At last, one book tells you all you need to create fun, fanciful
balloon animals and to defend yourself from the inevitable attacks of
random nerd-bashers. Learn to bring a smile to the faces of children
and exceptionally tolerant adults, and to break the noses of normal,
God-fearing people who naturally want to express their revulsion for
your cloying, squeaky hobby by beating you to a pulp.
Beading For the Sort of People Who Need a Book to Tell Them How to Put Beads on a String
You take the string, you take some beads, you put the beads on a string.
Then you tie a knot. It's really not tough, but some people apparently
can't make even the simplest damn thing without full-color, full-page
illustrations of every step, so this book is for them. Frankly, we're
not going to even try to create catchy copy here because we
can't bring ourselves to lower our mental capacity to that level,
but we figure they're so hard up for guidance that they'll buy it anyway.
Make Your Own Viking Longboat
Thirteen weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List! Yes, folks,
longboatmania is here to stay. From longboat guru Hedge Wilmarr's
appearance on "Live With Regis & Kelly" to MTV's "Longboat Island" series,
to The New Yorker's special All Viking Longboat issue, America can't
get enough of handmade, authentic viking longboats! Now you can find
out what the fuss is all about with this comprehensive guide to creating
a full-size, working replica of a viking longboat in your own backyard!
Now updated with an appendix on alternate larboard design.
Pipe Cleaner Fun!
It's a rainy day, you're bored, and you've got a handful of pipe cleaners.
What can you do? Why, clean pipes of course! Pipe Cleaner Fun
has detailed instructions on using pipe cleaners to clean any sort
of pipe, from a Victorian-era meerschaum to a bong shaped like Homer
Simpson's head. Hours of finger-staining enjoyment! By the author of
Clothespin Fun and Toothpick Fun.