Magic Grow Dinosaurs
Not nearly as interesting as they sound. You put a small colorful capsule that's just begging to be ingested by an impulsive first-grader into a glass of hot water, and at some point -- once you're good and bored -- it turns into a small foam outline that, at least half the time, resembles a dinosaur and not the little bits of foam that you'd expect to be left over after you made a little foam outline of a dinosaur. You get eighteen little capsules of asphyxiatingly tedious dinosaur action. D

Secret Puzzle
This unlink-the-metal-pieces game promises "Hours of Fun." This is such a lie that I am concerned that the package designer's pants may be on fire even now. A linked-metal puzzle cannot provide hours of fun. It can provide minutes of fun or hours of frustration. This provided about a minute and a half of vague distraction. I am not trying to play up my own prowess when I tell you that I've had fast food orders that took longer to sort out than this puzzle. If you find this game fascinating, I know a great game you can play that requires nothing more than both hands and a flashlight. D

Stormy Weather Rain Bonnets
I didn't catch the plural when I bought this; I expected to get only the one rain bonnet. I'm impressed that they managed to fit five rain bonnets into a package about the size of a skimpy chimichanga. The bonnets themselves are less impressive, though. Looking at one out of context, you would not guess that it was supposed to be a bonnet. You'd probably guess that it was an important part used in making transparent kangaroos. I really think you would. It is, in keeping with the Mexican food theme, sort of a plastic head taco. You stick your head in the plastic taco, and the rest of you gets wet. But you get five of them. D+

Boomerang Party Favors
You really only expect one thing from a boomerang. If you throw it and it ends up more or less where it started, it's a good boomerang. It doesn't even have to whistle, glow, or cut off fingers like in The Road Warrior. These are not good boomerangs. They are tragic little pieces of plastic that will make small children cry. D-

Fishing Net
I'm going to assume, for my sanity and yours, that nobody is buying cheap little fishing nets at the dollar store with the intention of actually catching fish. Of course that leaves relatively few uses for miniature fishing nets, but the main two -- decorating seafood restaurants and providing challenges for your action figures -- are so noble that I'm left with vague approval for this twine tchotchke. B-

My Favorite Diary
I'm not sure to whom the "my" in this thing's name refers. It's certainly not my favorite diary, my favorite diary is Anaïs Nin's. This one does have impressionist penguins on the front, though, which is the one thing that Anaïs can't provide. It also has a little lock on it, which is very cute but which I was able to pick in about thirty seconds using an eyeglass screwdriver. What can I say, it's my night for pulling metal things apart. B+