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by Lore Sjöberg
Lion-O
Where to begin? His passing resemblance to Ronald McDonald?
The fact that "Lion-O" is such a lame name as to make He-Man
look like Harrison Ford by comparison? The really sad thing
is that his furry pals seem to be unable to accomplish much without
him, or more accurately without his sword. Many episodes follow
the basic plot of "Lion-O is off somewhere being distracted while
the Mutants attack. The ThunderCats fail to defend themselves in
spite of the fact that the Mutants have shown themselves to have
all the competency of a dead computer superstore employee. Lion-O
makes his way back, uses his sword to summon theme music, and
defeats the Mutants with the Generic Blue Beam of Justice. Then
he says something marginally coherent and they all laugh." Not
exactly epic quality. C-
Tygra
Wasn't Tygra one of the two girls who liked the cars that go boom
in the eighties? That would be welcome news, because at least
that would establish some sort of personality for this, the
blandest mammal on Third Earth. After repeated viewings, I
was still unable to determine any attitudes, preferences,
or quirks that might set him apart from the other ThunderCats.
Except he has a little whip thingie. C
Cheetara
She's telepathic, telekinetic, and telegenic.
Her main power is to move from place to place so quickly
that she seems to teleport. Impressive, except that the frame rate
on the ThunderCats is so crappy that pretty much everyone seems
to be jumping from place to place. She just does it with more style.
But at least she has style. She's got the best look of
the 'Cats, which isn't saying much considering that her major competitor
is Panthro's "Bondage Meets Tonka" look. B
WilyKat and/or WilyKit
"Thunderkittens." That's what they're called. Kind of an odd
juxtaposition of power and cuddliness, don't you think? Sounds
like something out of a Hallmark creation myth. In my intensive
research, I noticed that WilyK(a|i)t didn't always show up to
Lion-O's little impromptu ass-kicking sessions. Were they
temps? Did they just have better things to do, being fun-loving
free-spirited young'uns? Or perhaps -- I'm just guessing here --
Rankin-Bass didn't want to shell out the cash for the full
voice ensemble to show up for every episode. C+
Panthro
Um. He fixes things. And he drives the tank. You know, this is
why I've put off covering the Thundercats for so long, in spite of
several requests. They're not that interesting, people.
It's not like I can sit here and say "Well, Panthro's attempts
to reconcile his desire for acceptance with his fear of intimacy
make for a fascinating melange of hope and self-loathing that
all of us have faced in our lives." He fixes things!
he drives the tank! He's blue! Aside from that,
he's just like the rest of them, alternating bland moralism with
soft-core violence. C-
Snarf
And then we get to the inevitable short annoying sidekick. Snarf
has a personality, in the same sense that tainted pork products
have flavor. My question, though, is this. If the rest of the
team is made up of human-sized, human-shaped cats, and Snarf
is basically cat-sized and cat-shaped, then why isn't Snarf just a
basic cat? Wouldn't that make more sense -- and be substantially
more aesthetically apealling -- than his actual form, which
seems like some sort of god-mocking cross between a cat, a lizard,
and Jerry Garcia. D
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