The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

Where to begin? His passing resemblance to Ronald McDonald? The fact that "Lion-O" is such a lame name as to make He-Man look like Harrison Ford by comparison? The really sad thing is that his furry pals seem to be unable to accomplish much without him, or more accurately without his sword. Many episodes follow the basic plot of "Lion-O is off somewhere being distracted while the Mutants attack. The ThunderCats fail to defend themselves in spite of the fact that the Mutants have shown themselves to have all the competency of a dead computer superstore employee. Lion-O makes his way back, uses his sword to summon theme music, and defeats the Mutants with the Generic Blue Beam of Justice. Then he says something marginally coherent and they all laugh." Not exactly epic quality. C-

Wasn't Tygra one of the two girls who liked the cars that go boom in the eighties? That would be welcome news, because at least that would establish some sort of personality for this, the blandest mammal on Third Earth. After repeated viewings, I was still unable to determine any attitudes, preferences, or quirks that might set him apart from the other ThunderCats. Except he has a little whip thingie. C

She's telepathic, telekinetic, and telegenic. Her main power is to move from place to place so quickly that she seems to teleport. Impressive, except that the frame rate on the ThunderCats is so crappy that pretty much everyone seems to be jumping from place to place. She just does it with more style. But at least she has style. She's got the best look of the 'Cats, which isn't saying much considering that her major competitor is Panthro's "Bondage Meets Tonka" look. B

WilyKat and/or WilyKit
"Thunderkittens." That's what they're called. Kind of an odd juxtaposition of power and cuddliness, don't you think? Sounds like something out of a Hallmark creation myth. In my intensive research, I noticed that WilyK(a|i)t didn't always show up to Lion-O's little impromptu ass-kicking sessions. Were they temps? Did they just have better things to do, being fun-loving free-spirited young'uns? Or perhaps -- I'm just guessing here -- Rankin-Bass didn't want to shell out the cash for the full voice ensemble to show up for every episode. C+

Um. He fixes things. And he drives the tank. You know, this is why I've put off covering the Thundercats for so long, in spite of several requests. They're not that interesting, people. It's not like I can sit here and say "Well, Panthro's attempts to reconcile his desire for acceptance with his fear of intimacy make for a fascinating melange of hope and self-loathing that all of us have faced in our lives." He fixes things! he drives the tank! He's blue! Aside from that, he's just like the rest of them, alternating bland moralism with soft-core violence. C-

And then we get to the inevitable short annoying sidekick. Snarf has a personality, in the same sense that tainted pork products have flavor. My question, though, is this. If the rest of the team is made up of human-sized, human-shaped cats, and Snarf is basically cat-sized and cat-shaped, then why isn't Snarf just a basic cat? Wouldn't that make more sense -- and be substantially more aesthetically apealling -- than his actual form, which seems like some sort of god-mocking cross between a cat, a lizard, and Jerry Garcia. D

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