Reader Mail (24 March 2003)
I've pretty much declared today to be "Everyone is
stupid" day for a long list of boring reasons, but the
general response to your good and bad poll's just
added another one.
Albumin isn't bad, in fact it's really, really good.
Anyone who's had mayonnaise fried shrimp, (Which has,
surprise, surprise, mayonnaise, which contains egg
whites, which are albumin) can confirm that in the
proper setting, it can be downright godlike.
Waking up from a sexy dream about something not
inherently sexy on the other hand, can be really
disturbing. Just picture waking up from a dream about
a be-vagina'ed Donald Duck with one's pork sword at
full attention to get the full horror of what evil
your subconscious is capable of.
Actually, Joshua, major portions of my brain
are now devoted full-time to preventing me from picturing that. At any rate, according to the rules of Good or Bad, you're wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate you taking the time to try and stuff horrible images in my mind.
I am about to learn you why salicylic acid burns like hell while
its comrade in arms acetyl salicylic acid does not. It is all about
disolution rates. An acid is an ionic molecule compounded of an anion and
a hydrogen cation. The faster a hydrogen cation can get away from the
anion, the quicker it can join to say, your skin. This loose ion will eat
through your skin faster than termites take out balsa wood. Now, that
acetyl group replaces one of the hydrogens on the salicylic acid and acts
as a hydrogen cowboy, keeping them from devouring vital areas.
Thanks, different Joshua. Call me easily impressed, but anyone who can
explain household chemistry in layman's terms and use the phrase
"hydrogen cowboy" in the process is okay in my book.
You forgot to rate duct tape! How silly of you.
To reiterate: I not "forget" or "overlook" items
for the Ratings. I simply elect not to include them. Having said that,
in this case I elected not to include duct tape as a wart remedy because
I had never heard of it. However, I am now well-informed of the
situation because according to my calculations, every carbon atom
on the planet apparently got a Hotmail account and mailed me to
tell me about it. Which I appreciate, even if it does make it difficult
to find the penis enlargement spam in my mailbox.
At any rate, if I ever get around to "More Wart
Remedies" I'll be sure to include it. In the meantime, feel free
to evaluate the evidence (as presented by The Discovery Channel) yourself. Note
that they didn't test the duct tape on genital warts. I imagine you'll
find it in your heart to understand.
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