Reader Mail (26 August 2002)
with your host, Lore Sjöberg

Normally, things like this have some weird algorithm that in no way bear any bits of reality to discern how long one is to live. However, with Lore's engine, we find that the exact human lifespan for everyone is 76 years, one month and sixteen days.

Is this your subtle way of telling us that the future will be like Logan's Run?

A relatively tolerant, very patient Logan's Run, yes. Sort of a Logan's Run, only instead of a run they have that thing where old people go into the mall before the stores open to power walk.

You forgot that Magneto, like Dr. Doom, also has a cape.

And he did have his very own Island nation, Geonosha (that was entirely populated by mutants), until Professor X's evil twin sister Cassandra Nova used the Sentinels (the big robots, and the best way to beat your friends in Hero Clix I hear) to destroy the place and possibly him (cos, y'know, death is always final in comics).

I think that was what happened anyway (read it in Wizard). I don't read X-Men either cos it already costs me too much just buying all the Spider-Man comics. Just thought I'd add to the torrent of email you've no-doubt received from other dorks.

With the exception of the author's name, I recognized every proper noun in that letter. Even "Hero Clix." That makes me feel funny.

Actually, the Leader/Hulk opposition is more creative than it may seem at first. Look at the pairings: big/small, dumb/smart, strong/weak. But then what have we got: green/green, guy/guy? You would expect the Leader to have been a small, smart, weak girl whose skin was red, but then they totally pull a switcheroo on you! That's money.

It's money? How is it money? Does "money" mean something new since Swingers came and went?

At any rate, our inverse Hulk would have to be a small, smart, weak, red girl with all of her body covered in denim except her hips and thighs. That also makes me feel funny.

"Anything that necessitates that much concentration and memorization is, by definition, a bad drinking game."

What about your apocalypse drinking game? If the world is coming to an end, I'm going to have a tough time remembering to take my drink when the moon turns to blood or a third of the sea becomes wormwood.

Well, you see, that's very different because HEY LOOK A FIRE ENGINE!

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