Fun! Often painful! Here's an interesting bit of psychology: when a
child first realizes one fateful Fourth that sparklers can be used to
spell out words in light, what does he or she write? "USA"? "We hold
these truths to be self-evident"? Good gosh, no! What gets emblazoned
on the mosquito-infested air is the name of the tyke in question. Lesson
to be learned: even nation-wide celebrations can be all about you
if you put your mind to it. A+
The quintessence of personal pyrotechnics. They whistle, they shoot through the
air, then they explode, just like a flying, exploding Andy Griffith.
Nothing wrong with that, unless of course you're setting them off
near oily rags or aiming them at someone's brain. Don't do that. A-
These are okay, I guess. You light them up and they go off like an
aroused cartoon wolf. But it's passive. You don't get to aim it
or wave it or throw it, you just watch it like the fireworks the
city puts on. Just like the man's fireworks, man. C-
Aside from being an excellent way for impish moppets in depression-era
short films to frighten horses, firecrackers are just plain fun.
Thirty seconds of earsplitting, Yorkie-startling noise make you
feel like you've done something with your day, you know? B
Are these fireworks? How did they end up in my fireworks assortment?
You light them, they glow silently, they leave a substance behind.
By that standard, a pack of menthols constitutes fireworks. Presumably
these are for the introspective portion of the evening, when you've decided
to eat that last unidentifiable piece of fried chicken and light the last
dregs of your fireworks. D+