The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings

Danger Symbols, Part 2

[Flammable Symbol]


I guess you can't fault them for using the obvious. It's a fire. It's kind of similar to the old Campfire Girls symbol, but Campfire Girls are flammable, so that's okay. It's just kind of...boring. At best, it makes me crave s'mores. I think what it needs is a guy suffering. Some generic stick guy with his arm on fire. That would give it the human touch it lacks. C

[Explosive Symbol]


Now that's an explosion! Whoever designed this should be doing art for heavy metal bands. That generic exploding object is way blown up. It has less of a chance of re-forming than Nirvana. The dynamic nature of the art makes me want to live a life of adventure and narrow escapes. That's pretty much the opposite of the effect you want your danger symbols to have, but I don't care. I like this explosion. A-

[Oxidizer Symbol]


Ooh! A flaming volleyball! Didn't God appear as a flaming volleyball at some point? I think it was the Book of Tracheotomy or something. Well, if he did, apparently he was oxidizing like nobody's business. There's really not much to recommend about this highly derivative danger symbol. Isn't rust oxizidation, anyway? Should I have this symbol on the good silver? D

[Laser Symbol]


Laser energy, possibly the coolest dangerous thing there is, gets a really sad warning icon. I don't even get what that Christmas tree ornament thing is supposed to be. Is that the laser generator or someone's eye being reduced to its constituent humours? I'm not sure a laser warning symbol is useful, anyway. I have it on good authority that most industrial laser beams aren't visible unless you're looking straight into the laser device, so basically we have a situation where peering around for the source of the hazard is the last thing you want to do. Maybe the sign should say "Danger: Really Boring Area! Don't Look Around Or Anything! It's Tedious! Just Keep Examining Your Cuticles And Considering The Switch To Low-Fat Sour Cream!" D-

[Electric Shock Symbol]

Electric Shock

I don't get this. The lightning bolt is a universal symbol of electricity, dating back to cave paintings and Captain Marvel serials. So why stick the little arrow on the bottom? It just makes it look like "Warning: Poorly Drawn Revenue Chart From A Business Cartoon." Certainly that's something that merits a warning, but you don't want to be looking around for hazardous clip art when there are live wires about. It's all about focus. D+

[Generic Symbol]

Generic Danger

"Caution: Interjection! Shows Excitement! Or Emotion! Hallelujah!" I appreciate the need for a generic danger sign. You never know when you're going to be in charge of some danger never before known to man, like sentient pudding or something, but an exclamation point doesn't mean "Danger" to me. It means "Charlie Brown is startled." Perhaps we need to go back to the traditional sign of impending danger: human heads on poles. They'd have to be sturdy poles, and well-attached heads, though, or else you're going to need a "Danger: Human Heads on Poles" sign. That would be too weird. D+

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