The Brunching Shuttlecocks Quizzes

When we think about the nation's teenagers getting involved in drugs, it makes us want to do some tequila shots, take a prescription tranquilizer and go watch cable for a while. That's why we've provided this simple checklist to tell if your child is a crack-addicted cheeba-head who's headed for a life of urine-soaked jail cells and public blame.

Does Your Child...

  1. ...exhibit surliness, a desire to be left alone, or other "moods"?
  2. ...appear reluctant to share all the details of his or her social life with you?
  3. ...listen to "rap," "hip-hop," or "pop" music?
  4. ...spend hours a day watching television, playing video games, or sleeping?
  5. ...use drug slang such as "you must be high," "that's so dope," or "this sucks"?
  6. ...sometimes leave the house without a detailed plan for where he or she will be going?
  7. ...sometimes want to spend more time with "friends" than with family?
  8. ...wear clothing that is unattractive or doesn't seem to fit properly?
  9. ...ask for money, even when you've given him or her some just recently?
  10. ...spend time on the Web?

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