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Aspects of Camping
by Lore Sjöberg
Campfires
Aside from coming away from them smelling like the smoking section
of a barbecue joint, there's very little to complain about concerning
campfires. They're warm, they've got that whole hypnoticy swirly thing
going, and they provide the appropriate level of lighting for looking
at people who have been in the woods all weekend. And they enable
roast marshmallows, which are essential to robust living. A
Hiking
It's not that I'm against scenic vistas. It's just that if I have to hike
for a half-hour to get to them I'd just as soon look at them through
a Viewmaster. Walking is fine, I like walking, but hiking is walking
in areas with insects and steep inclines while carrying dried fruit,
and I'm not down with that. D+
Tents
I'm conflicted here. I have to admit that, in action, it's pretty cool
that you can turn a few ounces of aluminum and vinyl into a happy
little suspension domicile. The Boy-Scout style pup tent has all
but disappeared, to be replaced by curvy art projects in jaunty colors.
On the other hand, having put up a tent you're sort of obliged to
sleep in it, and I'm a big fan of the "biggest, hugest, most comfy
bed you can possibly afford" school of slumber. C-
Camp Stoves
One thing that I do like about camping is that it's rapidly turning into
a display of miniaturized Jetsons-esque technology designed to help
you forget that you are, for some ungodly reason, spending an entire
weekend outdoors. Case in point; at a recent camping event I sort of
semi-accidentally attended, the selection of gas-powered cooking equipment
in evidence put my own actual indoor kitchen to shame. There was even a
gas-powered mini-oven out of which came hot cinnamon rolls. If someone
has brought a gas-powered blender they would have had all my appliances
covered and more. B
Power Bars
I knew that granola bars were the start of something insidious. When
they first came out it wasn't a problem, because they were basically
candy bars with texture. Many of them even had chocolate chips. A
granola bar with chocolate chips is, in essence, a Mr. Goodbar with
the ingedient ratio inverted. But it was only a matter of time before
some misbegotten soul decided to pervert the noble hand-held snack food
bar into something actually healthy, with all the grittiness and
density that implies. So sad. D
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