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Martha Stewart's Talking

Martha Stewart, the one woman Miss Manners calls a "repressed control addict with a sphincter that could snap broomsticks," is reportedly thinking of taking up a new career as a stool pigeon. In order to get out of the deep sorbet she's gotten herself into, a source says she's going to give the FBI important information in exchange for immunity from prosecution. That's a good enough excuse for us to provide you a chance to make The Martha tell the world what you think she ought to be saying. Just slide your saying of choice into the form below and you'll soon have a custom decoration for printing or publicizing.

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