The Highest Court
by Lore Sjöberg

Another Supreme Court session, one of the most controversial in recent memory, has ended. In this session, the court...

...affirmed the right of fast food chains to refuse "Kids' Meals" to customers when they suspect said meals will be eaten in whole or in part by an adult.

...let stand a lower court ruling that "funny ha-ha" and "funny strange" were two separate legal concepts under contract law.

...refused to allow the FDA to enforce legal definitions of all made-up advertising words ending in the suffixes "-licious," "-tastic," or "-riffic."

...denied the government the ability to change the names of the states at will, simultaneously re-affirming that there is no "Amendment Infinity" allowing them to do so.

...sent a case involving political district apportionment back to a lower court, but not before first making the prosecution repeat the word "gerrymandering" over and over again for a half-hour.

...upheld a Nebraska law requiring accused felons to appear before the court in one of those spinning hoop things like in "Superman: The Movie."

...allowed the Boy Scouts to refuse entrance to gay scouts and scoutmasters, provided they change the Scout's Oath to end with "...and no cocksucking."