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Perhaps the most important legislative advance of recent years is the Uniform Popular Music Naming Act of 1999, which requires all pop songs to be named after the most common or catchy phrase in the lyrics. Radio DJs, record store employees, and Napster searchers alike rejoiced at no longer having to remember that "Everybody Must Get Stoned" is actually called "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35," to name one of the more egregious offenses of a less-enlightened era. But those who don't remember the past are doomed to listen to a dance remix of it, so we challenge you to remember the original titles -- some sad souls might say the "real titles" -- of the following logically-named pop songs. |
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