Hey! Political pundits! There's a hot new ideology
making its way through Internet chat rooms and discussion groups!
Meet the Shutupicrat!
He's a liberal!
"Those KKK rednecks should just shut up and go back to fucking their cousins."
He's a conservative!
"If black people can't get seated at Denny's they should quit whining and go to some other restaurant."
He's a libertarian!
"I'm tired of screechy parents trying to ban video games just because their own stupid brats are mental cases."
He's an authoritarian!
"If protesters don't want to get beat up by the police, they should stick to protesting in their own living rooms."
He has keen insights into the global scene!
"Why aren't all our enemies dead yet?"
But through it all, he dreams of making the world a better place.
"I just want to download topless supermodel pictures in peace, dammit."