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The Shutupicrat
by Lore Sjöberg
Hey! Political pundits! There's a hot new ideology
making its way through Internet chat rooms and discussion groups!
Meet the Shutupicrat!
He's a liberal!
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"Those KKK rednecks should just shut up and go back to fucking their cousins."
He's a conservative!
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"If black people can't get seated at Denny's they should quit whining and go to some other restaurant."
He's a libertarian!
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"I'm tired of screechy parents trying to ban video games just because their own stupid brats are mental cases."
He's an authoritarian!
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"If protesters don't want to get beat up by the police, they should stick to protesting in their own living rooms."
He has keen insights into the global scene!
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"Why aren't all our enemies dead yet?"
But through it all, he dreams of making the world a better place.
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"I just want to download topless supermodel pictures in peace, dammit."
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