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"Coming, coming...oh! Hi!" "Linda. I've come to tell you something very important." "Wow. Gosh, I haven't seen you in years...Charlie?" "Charles, actually. Linda, I traveled all the way from Farnsworth to tell you I love you. I've missed you all these years, and I realize that I made a terrible mistake when I dumped you." "Ah. Listen, Charlie..." "Charles." "Sorry. Listen, Charles, why don't you come in and sit down. You look tired." "I am tired, Linda. Tired of being without you in my life." "Yeah, well. Jet lag will do that, too. So. You're living in Farnsworth, now." "That's not important. What's important is that I love you and I need you." "I'm really flattered, Charles, but I've got a boyfriend." "Leave him. He can't love you like I do." "Yes, well, I'm rather fond of him. Plus we just got a Yorkie together. Do you want a beer or something?" "I'll buy you a hundred Yorkies, Linda, if you'll be mine." "Well, there's also the apartment, the CD collection, and the fact that I never really liked you all that much." "But I..." "And come to think of it, I dumped you, didn't I?" "Well, yes. But in a way I dumped you by not begging you to take me back." "But you are begging me to take you back." "As I should have so many years ago." "Well, I would have turned you down, then, too. I really wasn't very fond of you at all. And this isn't improving things." "It's not?" "No. I'm actually pretty repulsed." "Oh." "Anyhow, you'd probably best trundle on back to Farnsworth, now." "Well, yes, I guess I'd better. Linda?" "Yes, Charles?" "Could I borrow fifty bucks? I'm kind of short on rent this month." "No, Charles." "Oh. Okay." "Goodbye, Charles." "Goodbye." |
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