The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features


by Lore Sjöberg


We often enjoy Cosmopolitan. Not because we need to know how to give our cheekbones more color or how to have better orgasms -- the orgasms we have give our cheekbones plenty of color, thank you -- but it's nice to be able to have your personal life sorted out with a few incisive questions in which someone you've never met creates hypothetical situations you'll never be in to reveal problems you never knew you had.

Given that we live to share joy, we thought we'd provide yet another outlet to make you unsatisfied with the life you're living. Have fun.
1. Do you often find yourself imagining other people when you make love?
2. Do you imagine those people running your current lover out of town with torches?
3. Do you fight over money?
4. Did the money in question go towards the purchase of oral favors from someone named "Cherrie"?
5. Do you find yourself noticing small faults in your lover?
6. Do these faults include his existence on the planet Earth?
7. Do you find yourself comparing your lover unfavorably to previous lovers?
8. Do you find yourself comparing your lover unfavorably to infectious skin diseases?
9. Do you feel jealous of your single friends?
10. Is it because your lover is sleeping with most of them?
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