The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Our existence has many banes, don't get us wrong. "Chock Full O' Banes," should be the slogan of our extremely bane-ridden existence. However, one of the major banes of our existence is picking up a delicious-looking, poisonous-frog-red candy treat, expecting some variety of fruit flavor, only to find ourselves awash in cinnamon.

Now really, a country that can settle on a standard size for individually wrapped cheese slices ought to be able to set up a reliable color-flavor mapping schema. Towards that end, we're providing you, our often-sexy reading audience, a chance to decide once and for all what "red" is. Use the voting form below, and the one that ends up above the inimitable "Line of Truth" is what you can expect from your scarlet treats.

Update: Voting closed, and the winner is the inimitable, yet often artificial, Strawberry. This is going to make eating Jelly Bellys a lot easier.



(72) Strawberry
--------- The Line of Truth --------
(60) Cherry
(20) Raspberry
(-5) "Wild" Cherry, whatever that means
(-29) Whatever flavor red licorice is
(-36) Watermelon
(-44) Tropical Punch
(-47) Whatever flavor Swedish gummi fish are
(-48) Cinnamon
(-77) "Berry." Just "Berry"


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