"Think the Year 2000 computer software problem is a bugaboo?
Well, another one is looming over its shoulder and might have a
sooner impact. The problem is called the Dow 10,000, or D10K for
short. According to several Internet and computer analysts, it's
the glitch that will occur when the Dow Jones industrial average
finally crosses the 10,000 threshold." -- Peter Mayes, Houston News
- The Year 18 Problem
- When Isaac Hanson reaches the age of 18, the band's popularity
will plummet, Menudo-style, into obscurity. All Hanson Web sites
will shut down, plunging Geocities into bankruptcy and causing
the emerging Web economy to fall into discord and chaos.
- The Pound 300 Problem
- As the nation becomes more and more overweight, computer programmers
are, as always, on the cutting edge. When the average programmer weight
reaches 300 pounds, tech companies will have to invest in new chairs,
floors and vending machines, or they'll see the phrase "crumbling
infrastructure" in a harshly literal light.
- The Bug 100,000 Problem
- Once the 100,000th New Beetle is sold, it will cease to be
novel and retro, and will instead be seen as just a lumpy car prone
to wiring problems. The ensuing blow to the confidence of young
techie hipsters with money to burn leads to a rapid decline in
Silicon Valley start-ups, and France overtakes the US in cutting-edge
- The Year 2095 Problem
- In 2095, Microsoft will once again call its flagship product
"Windows 95," not realizing until too late that the injuction
against the 20th century Windows 95 will still apply. The only
way around this is if the current lawsuits wrap up sometime
in the next hundred years, which experts say is not likely.
- The Year 2001 Problem
- In the 1999 programmer crunch, companies will be forced to
hire tech support personnel, ad managers, and random guys in
bookstores leafing through "HTML for Dummies" in a desperate
attempt to make their software Y2K safe. A year later,
these companies will discover the 90% of the "fixes" don't allow
for any years other than 2000. Civilization is reduced
to the stone-age, and tribal elders begin to warn about the problems
with this new-fangled "wheel" technology.