The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

The Obligatory Academy Awards Bit

Now that the Oscars are over, and the above-average have been separated from the merely mediocre, many people are already asking about my yearly rundown of the best and worst outfits at the Academy Awards. Who deserves the prostrate and trembling adulation once reserved for storm gods, and who should be pulled aside in a dark subway tunnel and beaten with bricks and steel clubs? Read on...


Ann-Margret was the surprise hit of the evening in her smashing full-length Intel bunny suit and potato gun by Donna Karan. Look for this to be the look of spring.

Heads turned as Cher and Charles Kuralt showed up in identical Anna Sui red sequin evening gowns with Himalayan shoulder poofs and silk eyebrow braids. Many thought it a major faux pas, but it soon became obvious that it was a planned gamble. And, I might add, one that paid off big!

With Madonna, you expect the unexpected, but nobody expected her daring turn as Daryl Hannah with Hulk Hogan's upper arms. Leave it to Tinseltown's own Eva Peron to make bodily Grranimals chic.

Not Picks

Where did Jamie Lee Curtis get that awful peekaboo miniskirt/smoking jacket ensemble? The "backup" roll in a Georgia Chevron restroom? Was it buried under the discarded magazines in the foyer of her local public library? Did she make it by hand out of Denny's children's menus? You get the idea, it was really unbecoming.

And what about Burgess Meredith? Sure, he's dead, but couldn't they have found better clips of him? For instance, that sassy Greco-Roman number in Clash of the Titans? I loved that. Or something from his stint at "Those Amazing Animals"; the man looked good in a chimp. Ah, well.

Worst of all was that one lady, the one with that thing around her neck and the leg thing and the other thing. You know, the one from that movie. She presented an award, or sang or something. That outfit blew.

Anyhow, that's all till next year. Take care, and sit up straight!

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