The Obligatory Academy Awards Bit
Now that the Oscars are over, and the above-average have been
separated from the merely mediocre, many people
are already asking about my yearly rundown of the best and worst
outfits at the Academy Awards. Who deserves the prostrate and trembling adulation
once reserved for storm gods, and who should be pulled aside in a dark
subway tunnel and beaten with bricks and steel clubs? Read on...
Ann-Margret was the surprise hit of the evening in her smashing full-length
Intel bunny suit and potato gun by Donna Karan. Look for this to be the
look of spring.
Heads turned as Cher and Charles Kuralt showed up in identical
Anna Sui red sequin evening gowns with Himalayan shoulder
poofs and silk eyebrow braids. Many thought it a major faux pas, but
it soon became obvious that it was a planned gamble. And, I might
add, one that paid off big!
With Madonna, you expect the unexpected, but nobody
expected her daring turn as Daryl Hannah with Hulk Hogan's
upper arms. Leave it to Tinseltown's own Eva Peron to make
bodily Grranimals chic.
Where did Jamie Lee Curtis get that awful peekaboo
miniskirt/smoking jacket ensemble? The "backup" roll in
a Georgia Chevron restroom? Was it buried under the discarded
magazines in the foyer of her local public library? Did she
make it by hand out of Denny's children's menus? You get the
idea, it was really unbecoming.
And what about Burgess Meredith? Sure, he's dead, but
couldn't they have found better clips of him? For instance, that
sassy Greco-Roman number in Clash of the Titans? I
loved that. Or something from his stint at "Those Amazing Animals";
the man looked good in a chimp. Ah, well.
Worst of all was that one lady, the one with that thing
around her neck and the leg thing and the
other thing. You know, the one from that movie. She presented
an award, or sang or something. That outfit blew.
Anyhow, that's all till next year. Take care, and sit