The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

1999 Following the success of dolls that shudder uncontrollably in 1996, virtual pets that die in 1997, and furry electronic toys that mutter nonsense in 1998, children this year are begging for the ultimate toy: real live crack babies.
2000 In a shocking and inexplicable development, the world fails to end.
2001 Fashion designers, freeing themselves from the shackles of convention, freely admit that their new spring lines are not actually designed for human bodies. The rich take to bringing exquisitely dressed mannequins to parties, while dressing, themselves, in comfy sweatsuits.
2002 To simplify registration for online services, the Global Unique Name Act requires that each child born must have a unique name leading to a generation of children with names like "RickyBoy2371" and "Jill!!41".
2003 All the various legal actions against Microsoft, and their lengthy appeals, come to an end. Holy Emperor Gates is fined two million Gatesmarks.
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