Do you want an easy, fun record club that rarely follows through on physical threats? Do you want your pick of the very best albums that can normally only be found in the clearance bins of used record stores? Well, look no further than the Calumny House Music Club!

Just pick any seven of the albums listed below, and we'll send them to you! No money needed: just a clear and legally binding signature! After that, you're only required to buy eight albums over the next year at the regular Calumny House Music Club price of no more than $247.45 each.

Every month you or one of your neighbors will receive a club letter listing the Calumny House Pick of the Month. If you want our Pick, do nothing! If you don't want our Pick, simply return the letter within six hours of receipt and we very well may not send it to you! It's that easy! Pick your albums today!