The National Music Publishers' Association recently shut down
a major song lyrics site, citing financial damages to copyright holders.
Apparently the answer to the question "What the hell is Fiona Apple
talking about?" is now a salable commodity. Oddly enough, though,
the NMPA has not announced any plans to actually sell the lyrics,
which puts the words to "Walk Like an Egyptian" into a kind of
mysterious forbidden intellectual limbo not usually seen outside of
Presumably, though, law-abiding music lovers will soon
fork over cash for their own personal -- possibly framed -- copies of lyrics to
songs. We consulted a panel of imaginary experts who determined
the fair market value of various song lyrics, some highlights of
which we reproduce below.
|The entire album Purple Rain, dirty words underlined||$6.00
|Annotated lyrics to "American Pie," vaguely reasonable edition||$2.00
|Annotated lyrics to "American Pie," completely off-base edition||$1.50
|Tom Petty's Greatest Hits (Printed on hemp paper made entirely from Petty's own scrape.)||$7.25
|The Transcribed Moans of Tori Amos, Volumes 1-3||$10.50
|The final four and one-half minutes of "Hey Jude"||$0.85
|Made-up lyrics to fictional Alanis Morissette songs||Still Free!