Hello, and welcome to "Call Somebody Who Gives A Damn!", the game show that
challenges you to find out which of your friends, family, and
associates actually give a rat's ass about your tedious, monotonous
existence. Let's play!
Round One, for one thousand dollars: You've just gotten a promotion, which includes a raise,
added responsibility, and a fat set of stock options. Just pick up
the phone we've provided for you and call someone who gives a damn!