The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

"A new company is offering Web surfers 50 cents an hour for their time online. In exchange for the loot, the Internet users must allow a bar of advertisements to move across the bottom of their screen." -- AP Business Wire

ISP Rates Circa 2001 Pays $1 an hour to read Web pages, plus they provide a free computer, a free DSL line, free tech support, a free AdultCheck password, and someone to do the dishes so you can spend more time online.
ProSurf Seeks experienced Web surfers to look at ads. Must have B.A. in conspicuous consumption or equivalent. Pays $25,000-$40,000 yearly DOE. Competitive benefits. Send resume.
Mobius Marketing Cuts out the middleman entirely by not only providing you with a net connection, but also paying you to buy their products. Purchasing a $150 VCR for instance, pays $212.
WiredFellas Use their ISP and they won't kill you.
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