The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Hey, there, little ghosts, goblins, and assorted trademarked characters! Want a real scare this Halloween, at a price your parents can afford? Then come down to Ed and Trudy's Discount Haunted Trailer Mansion! We've got all the thrills at half the bills!

First, we enter the Hall of the Invisible Intangible Completely Silent Murdering Psychopath Who Doesn't Have Any Body Odor. You can't tell he's there, but he knows you're there! Listen! Nothing! Look around! Nothing! He could be anywhere! Better move along quickly!

And here's the Alcove of Some Dirty Clothes and Your Mother. Watch out, she wants you to help do the laundry! Maybe you'll have to fold her underwear! Run, children, run!

Next, we come to the Cold Plate of Chili Cheese Fries. Look! The grease is all coagulated! The fries have that awful cold-french-fry texture to them! That's not very appetizing at all, is it?

And what's this? It's a little bench. That's right, a place to sit and think about all the awful things you've done. What if your parents just moved away one day and didn't take you with them? It would serve you right, you're so wicked and ungrateful.

And finally, here's the Room of the Really Old Dog. Take a look at Pal, our sixteen-year-old whippet. He's looking pretty creaky, ain't he? Ready to go any minute, he is. Think about it! He could die right in front of you, and then you'd be in a room with a dead dog! Scary!

So come visit Ed and Trudy's Discount Haunted Trailer Mansion -- We're afraid you'll have a great time!

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