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Don't Be Caught Dead at CryoLabs 

Mention cryogenics at a party and you're likely to hear a lot of talk about frozen severed heads and terminal illnesses. But what a lot of people don't know is that cryonic suspension isn't just for the doomed anymore. Many healthy people are choosing CryoLabs for their day-to-day stasis needs: healthy people like yourself. 

Can't wait for the season premiere of "Law and Order"? Want to look young and fit for your 25th high school reunion? Are you attracted to the Spice Girls, but into older women? Looking forward to the day when cockroaches evolve into our tyrannical overlords? CryoLabs can help. 

It's as easy as ABC: 

Agree to our perfectly reasonable and legally binding contract. 
Be frozen.
Come to life when the world has become your personal paradise.* 

Why settle for today when you can have tomorrow? 

CRYOLABS: The Aces of Stasis 

*Successful revival not guaranteed.

Who uses CryoLabs?

Happy Frozen Customer
People who need quick inheritance cash.

Happy Frozen Customer
People who literally live for football season.

Happy Frozen Customer
Bands that are ahead of their time.

Happy Frozen Customer
People who want to vote for President Chelsea.

Happy Frozen Customer
People who are waiting for their favorite Web page to download.

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