Thoughts from the All-Company Meeting | The Brunching Shuttlecocks

Thoughts from the All-Company Meeting
by David Neilsen

	I'm gonna stand in the back. That way, if they start randomly firing people, I can duck.
	Man, there's a ton of people who work here. Like just a ton. So how come we couldn't fill out the company softball team?
	This meeting is really boring. I wonder if I can get anyone to play wink-murder with me?
	I'm getting in some quality doodle-time here.
	The CEO is so calm and collected up there. How would he react if we started doing the wave?
	Who are those two guys in the dark suits standing in the corners? Are they the CEO's bodyguards? Our CEO brought bodyguards to the meeting? Is that a good sign?
	I hate it when they open the floor to questions. I can't handle the pressure.
	We should probably take this guy seriously, he's wearing a red power tie.
	This is a mandatory all-company meeting. But what about the people who are out sick today? Are they just totally screwed?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Are we getting cake?