The Brunching Shuttlecocks Thoughts From...

Thoughts from the All-Company Meeting

[Dave, thinking]

I'm gonna stand in the back. That way, if they start randomly firing people, I can duck.

[Dave, thinking] Man, there's a ton of people who work here. Like just a ton. So how come we couldn't fill out the company softball team?
[Dave, thinking] This meeting is really boring. I wonder if I can get anyone to play wink-murder with me?
[Dave, thinking] I'm getting in some quality doodle-time here.
[Dave, thinking] The CEO is so calm and collected up there. How would he react if we started doing the wave?
[Dave, thinking] Who are those two guys in the dark suits standing in the corners? Are they the CEO's bodyguards? Our CEO brought bodyguards to the meeting? Is that a good sign?
[Dave, thinking] I hate it when they open the floor to questions. I can't handle the pressure.
[Dave, thinking] We should probably take this guy seriously, he's wearing a red power tie.
[Dave, thinking] This is a mandatory all-company meeting. But what about the people who are out sick today? Are they just totally screwed?
[Dave, thinking] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Are we getting cake?
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