by Lore Sjöberg

If you're like many people, you read the comics not for the humorous antics, but for the profound moral and social lessons they teach. Johnny Hart knows this, and that's why "B.C." is soon going to abandon jokes all together and switch to a 100% moralizing format.

But as a busy person on the go, you may not have time to read the comics. How, then, to absorb the important cultural teachings ensconced therein? As a public service, we took a look at strips that were published on one recent day, and put together this handy guide to the lessons each taught:

Dilbert

Women are difficult to impress.

The Born Loser

That born loser guy sure is a born loser.

Eek & Meek

Politicians are sneaky.

Luann

Teenage boys have a misguided perception of romance.

Nancy

Stick a busty woman in a strip, and you can get away with the same jokes for decades. (Also applies to "Blondie.")

FoxTrot

Television is more interesting than homework.

Marmaduke

Great Danes are very large dogs.

Frank and Ernest

It would be odd if Biblical characters talked about "El Niño." Plus, Bob Thaves can't be bothered to draw a tilde.

Herman

The homeless sure are uppity sometimes.

Cathy

Women are wacky.

The Duplex

You can still get a lot of mileage out of ancient Greek paradoxes, if you apply them to modern situations.

Peanuts

[No discernible point.]