The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

One Man's Breakfast

Those of you living in the Southwestern states, or for that matter Mexico, may be familiar with a food substance known as chorizo. It is usually described as a sort of Mexican sausage, but calling chorizo "Mexican sausage" is like calling Attila the Hun a "Mongolian tourist." Chorizo is everything a sausage should be, which is to say that it's made out of parts of the cow that you would be horrified to know that the cow even had, much less that you're expected to eat them.

Some other great things about chorizo:

Much like certain dog foods, it makes its own gravy. After you cook it for a little while, the grease melts down and the "meat," such as it is, kind of wallows in this Dantean pool of hissing fat.

It is traditionally eaten with eggs. This is something like sprinkling sugar on fudge sauce, then eating it with a Lik-M-Stik.

It is traditionally eaten for breakfast, which explains why many people who live in Mexico feel the need to lie down for a while about noon.

It's spicy. If it's good, it's really spicy. If it does to your arteries what it does to your mucous membranes, you needn't fear heart attacks.

You may be able to get fresh chorizo at your local grocery establishment. Try it. It will put hair on your chest. If you ask for it extra-spicy, it may put hair on the chests of those around you as well.

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