One Man's Breakfast
Those of you living in the Southwestern states, or for that matter
Mexico, may be familiar with a food substance known as chorizo.
It is usually described as a sort of Mexican sausage, but calling chorizo
"Mexican sausage" is like calling Attila the Hun a "Mongolian tourist."
Chorizo is everything a sausage should be, which is to say that it's
made out of parts of the cow that you would be horrified to know
that the cow even had, much less that you're expected to eat them.
Some other great things about chorizo:
Much like certain dog foods, it makes its own gravy.
After you cook it for a little while, the grease melts down
and the "meat," such as it is, kind of wallows in this Dantean
pool of hissing fat.
It is traditionally eaten with eggs. This
is something like sprinkling sugar on fudge sauce, then eating
it with a Lik-M-Stik.
It is traditionally eaten for breakfast, which explains why
many people who live in Mexico feel the need to lie down for
a while about noon.
It's spicy. If it's good, it's really spicy. If it does to your
arteries what it does to your mucous membranes, you needn't fear
You may be able to get fresh chorizo at your local grocery
establishment. Try it. It will put hair on your chest.
If you ask for it extra-spicy, it may put hair on the
chests of those around you as well.