The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Wondering if the commentary behind the Funniest Videos of other nations is as sharp and witty as our own? Want to make sure that ballots in multiple languages don't have secret messages like "Don't vote for the bald guy. He's a goof." for non-English speakers? Want to know how to order fried entrails at the restaurant of your choice? Well, then, it's time to learn another language. To provide valuable aid, we present the following quick guide to some of the more popular choices.
Language Advantages Disadvantages


Useful in much of the United States. Soccer isn't any more interesting when you understand what the announcers are saying.


People will think you're really smart and cultured. We lied. Nobody cares.


You'll be the only one at the bar who can pronounce "hefeweizen" correctly. Spittle.


Great letters like ö and Å "Bork bork bork" is not actual Swedish.


Opens you up to a whole new world of animated cinema. You'll realize that your cool imported sweatshirt with Japanese characters on it says "I wear pleasing frilly undergarments."


You'll be ahead of the game when Esperanto is declared the universal language and required of all UN delegates. Ain't gonna happen, bucko.


You'll be able to read Ovid in the original idiom. Oh, please. You couldn't even manage to finish "The Celestine Prophecy."


You can watch "Star Trek" movies with your eyes closed. The pity and loathing of all right-thinking people everywhere.
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