The Brunching Shuttlecocks Cheap At Any Price

Doesn't it sometimes seem like your friends are the dumbest people on the planet? Don't you just hate them? Wouldn't you like to get a better class of friends?

Well now you can.

Introducing BetterFriends! The one-stop shop for all your pal-related needs. Looking for that nerdy rich guy who can float you, his buddy, some cash till the end of the month? How about that gorgeous sex-fiend who thinks casual sex between friends can only strengthen the relationship? Or perhaps you need a confidant, someone to whom you can finally admit your fear of trout.

We've got 'em all!

BetterFriends specializes in giving our customers the friends they want, the friends they deserve. No more Gus borrowing your lawn mower without ever giving it back. No more Betty-Sue who talks your ear off without ever saying anything. BetterFriends are friends interested in YOU. Need a group of guys to go to the ball game with? Need a fresh young couple for Monopoly and light wife-swapping? Just pick up the phone and dial 1-900-F-R-I-E-N-D-S and you're on your way to a happier life filled with interesting and fulfilling friendships.

Your best friend is just a phone call away!


[ Sorry about your Jeep. ]


[ There's beer in the fridge. ]

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