Toy Story 2
When I was 8, my dog, Oly, bit the head off of my Luke Skywalker figure. She
would eventually eat many Star Wars toys, but Luke was the only one she ever
beheaded. I was traumatized. But eventually I got over it. My Luke figure,
however, remained headless, and spent the remainder of its life as the
'headless freak at the bottom of the box'.
Now, 20 years later, I'm suddenly feeling very guilty about the neglect of my
The film that has sparked my fond remembrances and brought on pangs of guilt
is Toy Story 2. If you haven't seen it, shame on you. It will make you
laugh, cry (well, maybe not cry) and feel all warm inside. Even if you're
older than 10.
Not since Babe has a kids movie come along with so much to offer the parents
who are so often forced to accompany their kids to these things. It will
leave you feeling happy that they can still make a joyful movie that has
heart. For every End of Days and Pokemon nonsense, we need one of these to
remind us that Hollywood isn't necessarily evil.
Personally, I'm always amazed when I enjoy something rated G, because that
means there was absolutely no naked skin involved, and no real violence to
speak of either. Anyone who can entertain me without the use of sex or
violence is a true genius.
It's hard to explain why I liked this movie so much. Describing the joy
inherent in this film is best done through the eyes of a child.
"Yea! Wow! Neat-o! Hee-hee! Yippee!"
I hope that helps explain it. Seeing Toy Story 2 will make you feel young,
happy, free, and very sexy.
But the over-riding feeling many of you will walk away with is guilt.
When was the last time you played with your toys? I mean the Barbie dolls,
the Hot Wheels cars, the G.I. Joe figures, the Tonka Trucks. The TOYS. I
used to have a whole box of them. And slowly, over time, the older ones
drifted to the bottom of the box and were never heard from again. And they
must have hated it! Thinking back, I can hear them. Sure, I often thought
it was the sound of the wind between the panes of glass in my window, but I
know now that it was really my toys crying! My toys were lonely, and I was
ignoring them! They became cheap tokens for sale at a garage sale, or worse
yet, tossed into a pile of garbage to be hauled to the dump. The Dump!
Sentenced to an existence of death and destruction amid piles and piles of
filth and rats! What a heartless, evil person I was!!!
Sigh. It's too late for me, I have committed atrocities to my toys and will,
I'm sure, be punished with an afterlife of abject misery. Perhaps I shall be
reincarnated as one of countless green army men with fire crackers taped to
my back. Perhaps I shall be doomed to be a "hot toy for Christmas that was
accidentally hidden behind the really lame Seaquest DSV action figure that no
one ever buys so nobody ever saw me", and then sit idle on a store shelf for
a year, neglected and unloved and finally thrown away. Or perhaps it shall
be my fate to have my own head chomped off by a slobbering mutt. Let my
story be a warning to others out there. Play with your toys. Take good care
of them. Above all, love them. If Toy Story 2 has taught us anything, it
has taught us that we must love our toys, before it's too late.
I'm giving Toy Story 2 4 3/4 Babylons. It's a great movie, but not quite
perfect. It's too short. I went to the theater, sat through all the weird
candy and popcorn commercials. Saw 5 regular previews, got a 5-minute
advanced preview for a new Disney animated film called "Dinosaur" (which
looks amazing), got the THX trailer, sat through Pixar's original short which
explained to everyone about the hopping light fixture in their logo, and then
watched Toy Story 2 and got back to my car in under 2 hours. That means TS2
is really short. And personally, when a movie is this good, I want more of
I didn't see this movie so I can't figure out whether to think that the SMC
is really lame for liking it, or not. I think I'll go with "lame" anyway.
It's my default.
Toy Story 2
Directed By: Ash Brannon and John Lasseter (why do animated films always
have 2 directors?)
Starring: A Cowboy, A Spaceman, A Cowgirl, A Prospector, Mr. Potato Head,
Slinky Dog, A Dinosaur, A Piggy Bank, An Evil Space Robot, and finally, Tour