Your saga begins in a commercial establishment licensed for beverages, alcholic, the sale of; and intended for socialization, interpersonal, leading to sexual encounters, classification desperate, sub-classification shameful. In other words, a pick-up bar. And lo! There's a member of the appropriate sex who fits your minimal standards of attractiveness and personal hygiene now! What well-practiced opening line do you use on him or her?

• "If I made an obnoxious, sophomoric pun about your body, would you hold it against me?"
• "Much like the iMac, I come in five colors."
• "You look like you need a friend"