The election season is officially underway, along with the traditional political food chain of information. The candidates say something, their staff explains what they meant, media pundits explain what they really meant, and the public bases its decision on the ensuing late-night talk show comedy monologues.

So we figure, why go the long way around? Instead, you can use our little script to make the candidates say whatever you want them to, in a form that you can easily put on your Web page. In keeping with the other political media tradition of proclaiming the winners months in advance, we're only providing you the presumed frontrunners. Enjoy!