by Flash Khan Li

Hiya, Jetson!

I'm me! your neon vibrating flix critic from Laser Wacky Picnic, Tokyo's superest Holly Wood zine! Phat!

Hyper thanks to Brunching Shuttle Cock for inter net mega phone time to me to sending the love shouts out to America!

Now, get on top of my show!

Flix critiked to day is "Titanic", now moving at multi multiplexes near you.

How bad are "Titanic"?

• "Titanic" squeaks out each body hair one each minute for three hours.
• "Titanic" makes feeling of aglow red jumper cables on liver.
• "Titanic" could launch gurgitants even from gang greened skunk-dog who each day cuts autopsy's of other gang greened skunk-dogs.
• "Titanic" gives tinyer funs than faxing tongue.

Flix fan who pay for seeing "Titanic" got stern behind-sexing from flix maker.

Flix, its about mega big boat sailing from England to New York, New York. Bumps ice burger, globs up with water, flushed to bottom of ocean.

But flix maker, he has IQ of small rock: He splays ending of flix at starting of flix! What a toad-head in spades! And boat departs, de-parts in to two parts, then ruinated into ocean! See? No sequel! Flix maker, what a mormon!

Hay, flix maker, here's facticule: Fans need suspends. Don't hand away ending, spacklehead! Howabout make flix cyber inter activated, let fans poke their buttons or joy sticks in their seats and have own climax?

May be fans make boat bonk ice burger, stink in water. But may be fans make lasers melt ice burger in time. May be fans make boat awaken frozen giant prehysteric lizard that be friend Americans who's lips don't match words. May be fans have happy climax, boat people get not killed but get all to New York, New York. If rich tourists in New York, New York, then they are sure to get killed. Hah! I make a kid! Just kidding, you know it, I shoot the love beams to America.

And how come the boat sinks after tiny bump of ice burger? I ponder manufacture not by quality Japanese manufacture but by shoddy Detroit drunk manufacture. Hah! Another kid! I'm rotating now! But fedexing the love to America.

Flix maker, he sure is three eggs short of a stancheon, you are knowing what I am meaning, but I am gruntled, no feelings of hardness on me for flix maker.

The time of boogie! Here's here, but not soonly! From me, phly daddy of flix, 2 you cordial hopings you keep on swing that mojo, wear tiny sun glasses of the funky.

Bye bye!