Anyone can be a super hero, all you need is a clever gimmick.

This pearl of wisdom comes not from my years parading about town as "Fondue Man", but rather from the recent "Let's throw in as many stars as we can fit and see if anything sticks" flick, Mystery Men.

The plot of Mystery Men is so simple, it's as if it came from a comic book. (It did.) Major Superhero is kidnapped, and it's up to a rag-tag team of not-so-superheroes to save him from the clutches of the evil super-villain.

Not to be confused with the various "Major political figure is kidnapped, and it's up to a rag-tag team of local police to save him" films, nor the many "Major rich person is kidnapped, and it's up to a rag-tag team of not-so-rich people to save him" films. Basically, don't confuse this baby with any film starring any rag-tag team of anything.

OK, so the plot's nothing new. This movie's got a hook. And that hook is the wonderfully silly world of the superhero.

Think Superman's full of himself? Think Batman needs to "get over it?" Then these heroes are for you. They're everyday people. Most of their super-powers are about as super as Aunt Cleo's fruitcake. Sure they want to save the world, but that's only because of all the endorsement opportunities waiting in the wings. The leader of this rag-tag team is Ben Stiller as Mr. Furious. He's a guy who gets really, really angry. His fellow crime-fighters include The Shoveler (a guy with a shovel), The Bowler (a woman with an incredible bowling ball), the Blue Raja (an Indian fork thrower with a British accent) and The Invisible Boy (who's only invisible as long as no one is looking at him.)

The highlight of the film is the wonderful cast. Aside from Stiller, it includes William H. Macy, Janeane Garofalo, Hank Azaria, Greg Kinnear, Geoffrey Rush, Paul Reubens (The Artist formerly known as Pee-Wee) Tom Waits and Wes Studi. Not often you get a comic-book parody starring two Academy-Award nominees (Macy and Kinnear) and one winner (Rush.)

What ends up being created is a film filled with little moments of hilarity. Each actor is quite funny in his or her role, and they each have some wonderful lines, but it's as if they're acting in a vacuum. Look at me! I'm funny now! OK, I'm done, let me know when I get to be funny again.

It doesn't help that the uber-villian's diabolical plot is to, uhm, he wants to -- I dunno, kill some people. Destroy the city. Party all night long. Something like that. And while it's very funny to be introduced to the various villains (On my left, the Disco Boys, on my right, The Frat Boys, etc.), seeing these one-joke villains try to carry a scene is lame. They're like the last panel on a comic strip: funny, but there's no where to go, so the next day's strip will probably start somewhere else.

Still, the movie is not a total loss. If you loved comic books as a kid, then you'll probably love Mystery Men. It's a great flick for ex-comic geeks. If you always thought comic books were for the total losers in your 3rd-grade class, then you're really not the target audience here, so you can skip this baby and move on.

Plus the director is Kinka Usher. Kinka Usher! Is that a great name or what! Kinka Usher! Say it out loud, Kinka Usher. I just like writing it over and over. Kinka Usher. Kinka Usher. Kinka Usher. Cool.

Me, I'm giving Mystery Men 3 2/3 Babylons. Which probably tells you more about my childhood than I'd like you to know.

Editor's Note:

Once upon a time the SMC would have thought that Mystery Men was the best movie to come out since Deep Rising. I think that he was disappointed because he expected to see Ben Stiller in Underoos.

Mystery Men
Rated: PG-13
Directed By: Kinka Usher
Starring: Ben Stiller, Arthur Curry, William H. Macy, Eddie Izzard, Clark Kent, Janeane Garofalo, Bruce Wayne, Hank Azaria, Greg Kinnear, Linda Danvers, Billy Batson, Geoffrey Rush, Peter Parker, Dr. David Banner, Paul Reubens, Wally West, Ricky Jay, Tom Waits, John Henry Irons, Kel Mitchell, Kyle Rayner and Wes Studi.

CONTEST ALERT!!

OK, if you've been paying attention, you'll notice that I named a whole lot of people in the cast list. Well guess what, NOT ALL OF THEM ARE ACTORS! I have included a large number of famous comic book superhero secret-identities in the mix. Email me at owner-selfmade@lungfish.com with a list matching the secret identities to the superhero and you could win a Brunching Shuttlecocks T-Shirt!

All entries must be received via email by 4 PM, Wednesday, Sept. 29.

Good luck.