I never realized how important it is to lie.
I mean, sure, I've always appreciated a well-placed "Sorry, I left my homework at home." or "Didn't you get the check? I mailed it last week!" or even "It's just a cold-sore." but I never imagined what a disaster it would be to have the ability to lie stolen from you like so much carry-on baggage.
Thank God Jim Carrey is here to remind us of the importance of dishonesty.
So I saw, obviously, That Darn Cat and am completely in love with Christina Ricci all over again and...uh... actually no, it was Liar Liar. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
Yeah, Liar Liar with Jim Carrey and a bunch of other actors who basically get out of his way and try not to break and laugh. And I gotta tell you, it must have been difficult.
'Cause this is one damn funny movie.
See, Jim Carrey is a disgusting lawyer and his son makes a wish so that he can't lie for 24 hours. Hilarity ensues.
OK, I saw Cable Guy way back when, and it sucked big donkey dicks. But this movie is just slap-your-testies funny. Jimbo's at his peak, and each gag is both funny and in the spirit of the movie.
And a lot of them have to do with boobies, and other personal foibles. Now that's comedy.
Seriously, think about your life and how it would be if, just for a day, you were Jane or Johnny Truthful.
"How was your day at work, honey?"
"Well, I wanted to spend more time at work but felt obligated to return home and pretend to like you, the secretary turned down my outright play for sexual favors, which rather put me in a bad mood, so I gambled and lost $500 bucks on the Knicks game. How was your day?"
I think you see my point.
So many people talk about how terrible politics is because of how polititians lie, but do you really want them to tell the truth? I don't. I mean I sure as hell want my leaders to be better liars than the other guys. If they have some affairs and some huge pay-offs, great! Call them perks!
So we see now that lying is good. And we can see how the loss of this great power almost ruins a man's life. And along the way, we laugh, and we take a closer look at ourselves and our precious love of dishonesty.
Me? I'm gonna make sure to practice my lying daily. To my editors, to my parents and to my lovers. This is one critic who is going to embrace his true self.
Thank God for Jim Carrey. I love that man.
Liar Liar gets 4 1/5 Babylons. It's just a damn funny movie. Or my name isn't Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius.
Editor's Note:
If anybody wants to make one of them can't-lie-for-a-day wishes on Mr. Self-Made Critic, we'll pay them. Actually, it'd probably be funnier to wish him a visit from any one of his ex-wives, that'd be just as much fun.