How ironic.

Aliens send us a "Mars Needs Women" message and we send them a lesbian.

Which is not to say it doesn't make for some great entertainment.

I saw Contact. I made contact. The lady in the seat next to me stuck her head between my legs searching for a dropped contact. Last week I was sick and I took Contac. You get the idea.

The story of Contact is as old as things that are really, really old, like cheese and lemmings. Basically, Aliens send a radio message to us, inviting us to build a big machine and stick someone in it and see what happens. Jodie Foster is the radio astronomer who first hears the message. Matthew McConaughey is the priest. We'll get back to him in a second.

I loved this film. This is why movies can be made. It was intelligent, it was beautiful, it created a sense of wonder and joy that one just doesn't get in many movies. It does the unthinkable, assumes the audience has a brain. If you do, then you will be well rewarded. If you don't, then it doesn't matter, since you're a living vegetable hooked up to an IV drip filled with Pauly Shore movies.

The film is based on Carl Sagan's best seller of the same name, and anyone who knows the book can tell you, Carl had his hands all over this baby before his sad demise. It's as scientifically accurate as you can get, especially when you remember that this is, after all, science-FICTION. Robert Zemeckis, Academy Award director of Forrest Gump, has smacked a home run which is, in my humble opinion (which is of course the only one that matters) an even better film than Gump. Where Gump worked the nostalgia strings, Contact explores our sense of adventure. There really is only one question left for mankind: "Just what is Spam made of?"

Although others may say the question "Are we alone?" is a pretty good one as well.

Jodie Foster is grrrrreat! I mean damn, but start the band wagon for her next Oscar nomination. She is almost the perfect woman. If only she liked men, but what can you do?

Actually, I'm pretty sure she does like men, she just hasn't met the right one. Me.

And then we come to Matthew. As some of you may know, I went a little overboard in my zealous admiration of Mr. McConaughey when I reviewed his "A Time to Kill." After much litigation and bargaining, I was allowed to see another movie in which he stars. Sadly, this ruling came too late for me to catch Larger Than Life, but the papers were signed in time to see Contact, for which I'm eternally greatful.

Matthew rocked! I mean he was awsome! I love this guy! I wanna see more of him in more and more movies! He rocked!!!

There, harmless fawning. No need to sue. Or to reinstate the restraining order.

Seriously, do yourselves a favor. One favor. See this movie. And stop smoking. Two favors. See the movie and stop smoking. And floss more often. Three favors. But that's it. Promise.

This is a wonderful movie, a wonderful film, and a blessing for all. Hollywood is redeeming itself after a miserable first half of the summer. After all the horrid sequels, we're finally getting the good stuff, and it is well worth the wait.

I give Contact 4 Babylons. Just loved it.

Editor's Note:

Good flick.

What, you want more?

CONTACT
Rated: PG
Directed By: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, James Woods and some other people.