I want my own midget.
Not to own or abuse, but to share in the spoils of my empire. See, I've often thought of myself as the Dr. Evil of the Movie Review world. My five-year plan is to eventually use the strength of my work to take over the world. We're talking complete world domination. So I identify with Dr. Evil. I know where he's coming from.
Oh, in case you haven't figured it out, I saw Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. It is very shagadelic baby, yeah!
In the film, Dr. Evil has an evil midget clone named Mini-Me complete with his own mini-Mr. Bigglesworth. Mini-Me steals the movie, which is very impressive when you realize that he only has one line.
If I had my own Mini-Me, I'd take real good care of him, and I'd let him review some of the smaller films, maybe a series of shorts or something. Together, our empire would rise and grow and eventually, the world would be our plaything. Governments would be held merciless under our thumbs and the populace would cower in fear and respect at the mention of my name.
That would be really great.
The movie, by the way, is also really great. It's groovy, randy, and more fun than a fat horny Scotsman.
Here's the plot:
Dr. Evil wants to destroy the world, so he goes back in time to 1969. But first he has to derail Austin by stealing his "mojo." Austin, mojo-less, has to stop him. Along the way, Austin falls in love with a very randy CIA agent named Felicity Shagwell.
I love the names of these characters. Here are some other names. Ivana Humpalot. Robin Swallows. Fat Bastard.
How groovy is that?
There are a lot of very funny new bits. There are a lot of very funny old bits. Once again, you get a naked Austin Powers running around behind conveniently placed and shaped items of food. Once again, you get some absolutely priceless interplay between Dr. Evil and his less-than-evil son. Most of Dr. Evil's henchmen are back, and they each do their own recognizable schtick.
And there are a lot of funny bits with the midget.
Everyone is funny. Mike Myers, playing three roles, is wonderful. All of the minor characters are equally hilarious. Rob Lowe does a terrific job as a young Number 2 (Robert Wagner), and his impersonation is perfect!
Watching the movie, you get the feeling that making it was just one big party. There are a bunch of groovy dancers, lots of party scenes, and everyone looks like they're having a blast. Makes you wish you were an International Man (or Woman) of Mystery.
But they'd all be having more fun if they each had a midget.
If you saw the first movie, then you know what to expect in this movie, and you won't be disappointed. If you didn't see the first movie, SHAME ON YOU!!! GO RENT IT NOW!!! Then you'll want to see the sequel, and you won't be disappointed. It's a vicious circle.
OK, if you're some kind of weird purist, and you're looking for a cohesive plot and deep character development, then you are a true fuddy-duddy and have no right to see this movie. But if you want to laugh your knickers off, this baby is your ticket.
And it's all about the midget.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me gets 4 1/4 Babylons. I was literally in tears during a few of the scenes. Especially whenever Mini-Me was onscreen. I can't praise him enough.
Let's see - a Mini-SMC (at 1/8th the size of the SMC) would be about 6.8 inches tall. Do you think we could fit all that ego into that little bit of flesh?
Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me
Rated: PG-13
Directed By: Jay Roach
Starring: Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Mike Myers, Seth Green, Rob Lowe,
Mindy Sterling, Mike Myers and the greatest midget in the history of moviedom!