She's completely gorgeous, loves sports, has one of those bodies that only exist in beer commercials and likes to date total geeks.

There's Something About Mary alright, she's a pipe dream.

Two geekoids-made-good, the Farrelly Brothers, best known for the gross-outs Dumb & Dumber and Kingpin, bring their high-school fantasy to life in the form of the gross-out comedy, There's Something About Mary. It's the story of the hottest girl in school, who has no ego, is not stuck-up or prissy, is a genuine decent person, loves geeks and stays exactly that way for 13 years.

This movie is a fantasy.

Which might explain some of it's appeal. Let's face it, all of us at one time or another felt like losers in high school. And all of us had dreams of getting the girl to ditch the star quarterback and come riding with us. Likewise, I'm sure lots of you ladies had daydreams of said Football Star leaving his ditzy cheerleader girlfriend and discussing poetry with you. Well this film is the ultimate in "Geek beats the Quarterback to the Girl."

Ben Stiller is the geek. He's awkward both in high-school and 13 years later. In both time periods, he's got it bad for Cameron Diaz, the aforementioned Mary. Matt Dillon is the private investigator he hires to find her. He finds her, and then he's got it bad for Mary. Eventually, every male and possibly most of the females in the film have it bad for Mary. Because there's something about her. Yeah, I'll tell what's about her, she's a Babe, that's what's about her.

I must take time out to congratulate W. Earl Brown, who plays Mary's retarded brother, Warren. Why is this important? Because most of you have seen him before and don't realize it. Who is he? He was Courtney Cox's unfortunate cameraman in Scream. How's THAT for range?

This movie is funny. It is sick. It is disturbing. It is raunchy. It is not for kids. But it is funny. There are some incredibly outrageous scenes involving such things as a dog, mysterious hair gel, franks and beans, and a rest stop.

Since Mary fever is sweeping the nation, I should point out that this movie, for me at least, did not live up to it's hype. But then, with all the hype it's been getting, Citizen Kane would fall short.

Still, props must be given to any film that dares to do the things done here. My only fear as that, like all films, it will encourage children to act out what they see on the screen.

And a fishing lure should never be used that way.

I'm giving There Something About Mary 3 1/2 Babylons. It deserves more, but that's all I have left. I'm expecting another shipment of Babylons any day now, but until then, every new movie will have to get zero Babylons and like it. Oh well. That's what they get for waiting until August to release their summer films.

Editor's Note:

This film visibly scarred me.

There's Something About Mary
Rated: R
Directed By: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon, Chris Elliot, W. Earl Brown, a dog in a cast and some really nasty goo.